


Daily Fantasies of Eric Mun

by Kuroneko



Category: Shinhwa
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Ricsyung - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 10:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5044897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroneko/pseuds/Kuroneko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric's adventure between reality and fantasy which seems to be frightfully different when it comes to Shin Hyesung.</p><p> </p><p>A/N:<br/>I'm not a native English speaker, please take into account. Thank you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hard working Eric's fantasy

Eric was sitting in his comfortable swivel chair at the table leaning over a huge pile of papers only having the small lamp serving as light, everything around him was dark, nothing to see.

His days always ended like this – sitting above papers in the middle of the night going to sleep almost only in the morning then waking up a few hours later to start the day again, doing the same things like a maddening vicious circle. 

But honestly, he did not mind it after all he did it for Shinhwa which was one of the most precious things in his life. Shinhwa was his family, his love, his life – so he wanted to do everything to take care of it well, to protect it from everything that would hurt it even if it meant working late night having his back hurting from this stooped posture.

It was a hard work to fight for Shinhwa and sometimes it would wear him out too much. Sometimes he just wanted to sleep for a whole week, but of course that was something he cannot do – sometimes he even had to work during his holiday. Not like he minded it, still, it was a hard and tiring job.

From time to time he found himself nodding and nodding as his eyes closed and had fallen into dreamland for a moment or two then suddenly got up, reached for his cup and drank coffee and looked back at the papers again and wondered why he saw two from everything.

This was the sacrifice the leader had accepted to make.

“Aigoo, working late again.”

The voice he had heard behind himself disrupted him from his work, looked up but only stared ahead into the darkness. He knew who it was, he know this voice too much – the angelic voice he loved so much.

Soon arms had appeared from behind weaved them around him only to pull him back a bit just to hug him as tight as possible.

“Well, I have no other choice, Hyesung-ah, I need pull ourselves out of this somehow.” Eric replied as he touched Hyesung’s clasped hands around his neck.

“You know” Hyesung lowered his voice as he hugged him even tighter leaning his head on Eric’s. “I wish you would rely on us more than you actually do.”

Eric chuckled. “Are you worried about me?”

“Of course I am.” Hyesung said, let go of Eric and turned him towards himself so they can face each other. Then he knelt in front of him and leaned his head on Eric’s laps holding his hands tight with his own. “We all know it’s hard on you, but you would not say a thing to us. It makes me glad how hard you work for us, but at the same time it breaks my heart and makes me feel useless. You are clearly not well and this pains me. I’m worried about you, I’m scared if you continue on like this your health will be affected.”

Eric sighed, after all what the singer said made sense. He really did not say or complain much, but he did not know it hurt anyone. He smiled, the sudden came affection actually warmed his heart and he had a hard time not to grab Hyesung and squeeze the life out of him by hugging him, but he knew that would be a big mistake. Hyesung was like a cat – he had to let him show affection himself by his free will, if he did it he might run away if he did not feel like that.

Instead he just pulled one of his hands out of Hyesung’s clench and only touched his head, waited for a moment and when the singer did not pull away he gently caressed his hair.

“Now that you mention it” He said with a cheeky grin appearing on his face. “my back kinda hurts.”

Hyesung lifted his head and with an excited gleam shining in his eyes he asked: “Shall I massage you? I’m sure you would feel better after it!”

“Hmmm… will you really do that for me?” Eric asked cheekily and when he saw Hyesung nodding diligently he chuckled. “Then give me a kiss first.”

Hyesung blushed and bit his lips in embarrassment, but in the end closed his eyes and approached him to give the leader what he asked for…

 

 

Eric’s mouth was dry after he finished talking and when he looked at Hyesung he clearly saw the singer was not pleased at all by hearing what kind things he was fantasizing about. As he watched him looking or more like glaring at him with an annoyed and offended and disbelieving expression he realized the Hyesung in real life would never talk like that let alone acting that way.

In the end the Hyesung in his head was simply… impossible to appear. And it was wrong to tell him about this. A big mistake.

However as they were glaring at each other Hyesung suddenly sighed, his expression softened and the corners of his mouth had curved up and turned into the most beautiful and brightest smile Eric had ever seen.

“Then let me give a massage to our tired leader to show my gratefulness for working so hard for us.”

Hyesung said this still smiling and even though it was beautiful and bright and Eric could swear there were flowers around Hyesung, still, suddenly a bad feeling started to grow in his chest, an ominous feeling had risen in him, but it was already too late to back out.

Hyesung was already there close to him and even before he could have reacted Hyesung had turned him around and had his hands on his back.

That day the whole building was shaken by Eric Moon’s miserable screaming

“IT HURTS!”


	2. Eric and showering

After a long day arriving home most of the people’s mind is all around either food or finally standing into the shower cabin to have a quick shower then either go to sleep or just laze around, whatever, just finally rest and forget about all the pain of the whole day thanks to the traffic, the workplace, the boss, anything that causes stress to us.

Eric was the same. Being the leader of a legendary band, being the CEO of their company, making serious decisions every day, then when he has an acting job studying the script and showing up on meetings and then on shootings – this is just a small portion of Eric’s everyday, his days were filled with work work and again work, so he did not have big wishes at the end of the day when he arrived home - sometimes in the middle of the night -, but to have some food or snacks, have a quick shower and simply just get into his bed and sleep like a bear.

It was the same this day, too. After a seriously long day filled with papers and phone calls and arguing, meetings with the members, meetings with his new drama staff he was so tired he was surprised he made it home safely, after all he found himself blinking densely while driving and now it was just a pain to have his eyes being open.

So in the end after stepping into the hall of his home, he did not bother forcing himself to keep his eyes open, he simply closed them and leaning on his senses and his ‘I-know-my-own-home-for-God’s-sake’ statement he threw his coat and bag to somewhere, took off his shoes and blindly went to the kitchen to find something edible to silence his rebellious hungry stomach.

With still closed eyes he opened his fridge, reached into it and whatever he grabbed he took out and pushed it into his mouth, chewed and swallowed it – he had no idea what it was and honestly, he did not care. The taste was alright and until it did not poison him and could soothe his hungriness he did not mind whatever it was.

After his eating ritual he felt the need to have a shower – it was a long day he was sweaty and sticky. Apparently if his next day was off he would not bother with this and would just go directly to sleep, but because he had work the following day and he wanted to sleep for as long as possible he had to make this sacrifice and enter his bathroom.

He took off his clothes still not looking and entered the cabin, reached to the tap to turn it and only by thinking about the nice and relaxing warm water the corner of his mouth curved into an expectant smile.

He turned the tap and water came.

His eyes popped open and almost fell out of the cabin as the ice cold water reached his skin. Suddenly the sleepiness completely left his eyes and panicking he reached for the tap to finally stop the ice cold water paining his full-of-goosebumps skin.

“What the” He cursed annoyed, he was not really a patient person when he was tired, more like he was terribly helpless, apparently he was on the edge of a mental breakdown. He was dead tired, that’s all, why is it such a luxury to have a nice shower?

He opened the tap again, turned it to the hottest degree, still, cold water was running making Eric take deep breaths to calm himself. He tried again for another few times, pushed some switches, actually turned on an off anything he could find, the result was the same: painfully cold water.

“Don’t tell me it’s broken…”

He sighed and hopelessly smelled himself and sighed again, he really needed to make a contact with water. He was thinking hard what he should do, when suddenly the idea popped into his mind: Shin Hyesung.

 

“What do you want so late, Eric?”

Hyesung’s expression was anything but pleased. The huge black circles around his eyes were screaming for sleep and judged by his clothing – looked like as if he had put on something hurriedly -, it seemed like Eric managed to kick him straight out of bed with the sound of the doorbell.

And this, knowing Hyesung, was the worst possible scenario to ask for a favour. However, now when he was there standing at the entrance of the cave of the dragon, he could not back off anymore but say whatever he had to.

“I have a favour to ask.” Eric said looking straight into the eyes of the dragon. “And for the sake of our 10+ long friendship, you’ll help me out.”

Hyesung sighed, opened the door widely and while turning his back to Eric he added out of pride “Just say it quickly, I’m tired.”

 

“Can I use your shower?” Eric blurted it out already standing in the living room seeing Hyesung’s mood kind of melting by the time not being so… dragon-like anymore. “For some reason I only have cold water.”

“Did you try…”

“Yeah, I’ve switched on and off everything, still don’t work. I think something must be broken.”

Again a heavy sight, then Hyesung’s stinging eyes had met Eric’s. “Sure, whatever.”

“Yah, you really are the best.” Eric laughed out happily, grabbed Hyesung and hugged him tight and the fact the singer did not even try to push him surprised and confused him.

“You’ll find towels in there.” Hyesung said on a low voice, then escaped from Eric’s arms disappearing in his room leaving Eric standing there still looking towards the direction he disappeared with an expression when you look at something utterly adorable.

Eric sighed. He might be imagining things again. He just shrugged everything off and went to Hyesung’s bathroom, freed himself from his clothes and finally enjoyed the warm drops of water on his skin. It felt like as if he was revived and he enjoyed every moment with closed eyes smiling to himself, though, from time to time the feeling of hugging Hyesung’s slim body came to his mind and he managed to get surprised over and over about how he did not push him away.

It was weird.

 

He was still washing himself, though he might have been in for about twenty minutes now, when he heard the noise of the door opening. Naturally he stopped all of his movements and opened his eyes widely not only because of the sudden surprise, but he did not get why Hyesung would come in, because he was obviously alone at home, Eric did not have to be scared from any kind of psychotic killer you see in the movies with the cliché shower scene.

When he turned around he thought his eyes are going to fall out and not just that: suddenly he felt like his whole body had been boiling inside, a feverish feeling had taken control of him while fought a certain feeling in his lower body.

Hyesung was standing in the door, naked, only a towel hiding his lower parts being wrapped around his waist. He was just leaning against the doorway wearing a weird expression: both shy and lewd, Eric could not tell what the singer’s real feelings must have been.

He could not say anything not even about his own real feelings.

However now it kind of made sense his previous ‘wow he is so weird’ feeling of his. It was not even a feeling anymore, but Shin Hyesung really was weird and Eric did not know if he should be creeped out or delighted. After all the singer not just accepted his skinship previously – and looked kind of flustered about it -, but now he was standing in the bathroom completely naked giving an expression like ‘hey, come at me, I’m yours’ making Eric slowly turning into a wild beast – or at least he thought he is going to throw himself at Hyesung in any moment. After all the singer was literally offering himself to the leader.

“Hyesung-ah… what…”

Hyesung suddenly theatrically – the kind of thing you see in movies or commercials - threw the towel away making the leader literally having a heart-attack. The sudden embarrassment had run through his whole body and unintentionally, out of reflex he just lifted his chin and stared at the ceiling being in panic mode knowing Hyesung was now completely exposed – the Hyesung who never bathed together with the members when they lived together, but only alone.

Now he was there naked and Eric could not know where to look in embarrassment – this whole thing was a huge shock for him.

“Hyesung-ah, I think you should… get back… that towel...” Eric pointed to that direction the towel was thrown still fixating his gaze onto the ceiling.

“I’m entering the shower cabin, I don’t need the towel… silly…”

“WHAT”

Eric finally turned to Hyesung shocked, but instead of the eyes his eyes, he found the singer’s ‘most precious part’, so flustered he immediately looked up onto Hyesung’s face with widened eyes and with his expression completely frozen.

Before Eric could have said anything more Hyesung was already standing close in front of him, pushing him inside up against the wall and putting his finger onto Eric’s mouth. “You are too loud, I don’t want the neighbours to hear us.”

“Just what are you doing…” Eric asked giggling in both embarrassment and panic which only made Hyesung smirk.

“What… you don’t want this?” He asked and drew a circle with his finger on Eric’s chest. “Or this?” He asked again and licked Eric’s ear.

“It’s…” Eric stuttered flustered and jumped when Hyesung’s finger slid to his stomach. “It’s not that I don’t want…” He pointed at Hyesung in his whole, his whole being standing in the shower. “…this…” He gulped as he looked at Hyesung’s body, then gulped again, tore his gaze away from the white skin leaned his head against the wall staring at the ceiling again. “It’s just this is not like you at all…”

“Well, how it would be me, then?” Hyesung asked in a soft tone, touched Eric’s face and turned his head to face him.

As Eric was looking into Hyesung’s eyes like this the feeling of something being wrong had swept through him. This was just not right. The Hyesung in front of him was not right.

Sure, as he said he wanted to have Hyesung all to himself, he wanted to touch him sometimes, he wanted to love him with all his heart, but… but not this way, because this was not right.

This was not Shin Hyesung and this made Eric feel weird.

He loved the Hyesung who scolded him and beat him up sometimes, who rejected him in every possible moment, who was not especially fond of Eric, the one whom he was awkward with. He loved the Hyesung, whom in spite of all of the above showed with his almost unnoticeable gestures that really tiny, hard-to-see affection towards Eric which meant so much more than any other word or movement screaming ‘I love you’.

He loved the Hyesung whose actions and words meant exactly the opposite of what he meant and that cute habit of his when he turned away his head embarrassed and blushing while he cursed at Eric.

And as he watched this Hyesung he suddenly realized how different this Hyesung in the bathroom cabin was, how unreal he seemed.

“How it would be me, then?” Hyesung asked again impatiently closing that small distance between their body.

Eric watched him for a while then he sighed smiling and said: “I bet he would say something like, ‘yah, you, how long…’”

 

_“Yah, you! How long are you going to invade others’ bathroom, huh? You have been in there for more than half an hour now!”_

Eric jumped in surprise when he heard the sharp voice coming from the doorway and as he turned his head he only saw Hyesung being utterly furious, impatient and simply… awkward. However most importantly: completely dressed.

He looked around, he looked at his side where that weird and erotic Hyesung had been invading his privacy before, but there was no one there anymore, and suddenly the waves of relief ran through his body.

It was just his brain playing tricks on him, the real Hyesung was out there preparing to kill him and this made Eric happy – he was a hopeless masochist.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be out in a minute.” Eric replied smiling only causing Hyesung to turn his head embarrassed and just say ‘tsk next time I’ll just kick you out’ and he left.

Eric just smiled, smiled at the good old Hyesung and put on his clothes and finally left the bathroom. Then because he did not see Hyesung anywhere he decided to just yell farewell and leave.

“Hyesung-ah, thank you for letting me use your shower, I’m going now!” He yelled and went to the direction of the entrance, however a few moments later he heard Hyesung’s voice asking for him to stop for a moment, so Eric halted, turned to Hyesung and looked at him with a questioning expression.

Hyesung’s face was slightly red and he avoided looking directly into Eric’s eyes, then after a few moments of silence he just sighed and with an ‘I don’t really care do whatever you want’ kind of attitude he said:

“While you were showering I became kind of hungry, so I made some ramyun, but I messed it up and it became too much for me to eat alone…” He bit his lip and with a slightly annoyed, displeased (and obviously fake) expression he continued. “Do you want some?”

Eric had a hard time to hold back a chuckle, because he knew that would just flare up Hyesung – he knew him.

Instead he just nodded and when he arrived to kitchen he smiled even widely:

Obviously, two servings of ramyun really were too much for one person.


	3. Eric and dating I.

Going on dates with your partner is essential in relationships. It makes them getting to know each other more, helps them getting closer and it creates a romantic atmosphere around them – and this leads the couple to certain things that’s quite important in the future of their relationship.

Or so that’s what Eric had in mind about dating in general.

If he really thought it over he was not really the type of person who would go on trips and hiking for a date. For him sitting into a coffee shop or just staying at home watching a movie could be considered as a date. He liked comfortable things that’s all.

However he had started to think things over as he was dumped already countless times, maybe his idea about dating was wrong to begin with.

But this time the reason he was thinking about dates was not because of himself and how he was cruelly dumped a few times already in his life, but because of no one else, but Shin Hyesung.

No matter how much he knew him he had no idea how he was in a relationship. That’s not the right way to describe it though, Eric knew Hyesung was gentle and kind of a romantic guy. What he was thinking about was not the way he treated the person he was together with, but really, his acting in general.

Somehow he just could not imagine Hyesung whispering sweet things into his partner’s ear or out of blue grabbing her hand and such things. Somehow for Eric this image and Hyesung’s Jung Pilgyo could not fit together.

Of course Hyesung was a good guy, a nice and gentle person – Eric had to admit it, though he had to add this nice and gentle manner greatly depended on not just on his mood, but on the person he had to face.

As Eric was sitting on his sofa watching a dead-boring drama which he was not really watching actually, he could not help, but think how it’s like when Hyesung was on a date. Where he would go, for example, how he would act, what things he would say and would he be able to put away his painful awkwardness? (Not like he was not awkward with woman though – Eric added sighing.)

In the end he had decided to go to sleep, though, he did not have much things to do the next day, he would have finished earlier than usual.

 

However, the next day this thought that was already torturing him the previous day did not leave him alone this time either.

Hyesung on a date was something that excited his fantasy more, than anything.

In his head they would meet up on a Saturday morning around 10 o’clock and eat breakfast together while talking about everything that comes to their minds. They talk a lot, laugh a lot and they are incredibly happy – happier than ever.

After breakfast they would just walk around in the city, visit shops, visit the park – everything would be about them, only the two of them as if they were the last humans on Earth closing out everything and everyone.

The whole day would be like this. They would just talk and get to know each other more even though have known each other more than anything, sharing little secrets, little gestures, embarrassed smiles and lustful gazes, walking next to each other and as the night comes - walking hand in hand hoping the blackness hides them from the curious stares.

Later when they might have run out of the words or their legs could not bear even just one more step, they would catch a taxi, they would sit close to each other not caring about the taxi driver staring at them from time to time through the mirror, they honestly would not care, because they would be too busy watching the stars and the whole universe in the others’ love filled eyes.

They would murmur goodbye in front of Hyesung’s door, but every time they say goodbye they would stand there for another five minutes laughing embarrassed and even after Eric saying ‘go in, it’s cold’ (actually Eric imagined their date during the winter), still none of them would leave. And like this Eric would step to Hyesung and cup his red cheeks with his hands and just look at him and would not be able to believe they are standing there doing whatever they do.

He would finally kiss him, but would pull away soon feeling Hyesung’s tenseness, but when he sees his expression, his adorable embarrassed, but happy expression he would lean back to him and kiss him longer, sweeter.

And like this finally they could say goodbye and that night none of them would sleep, because their heart could not be slowed down anymore…

As Eric was thinking about their date he had to laugh at himself for imagining something like this – something utter impossibility.

The Hyesung in his fantasy was a complete stranger – he thought –, he did not even saw the chance he would not reject him if he asked him out on a date.

But he wanted to go on a date with Hyesung, it was something he had to do. It was a must.

And with these thought in his mind Eric Moon took his phone out of his pocket and called The Number.

 

“Yes?”

Hyesung’s voice sounded impatient and not so delighted and for a moment Eric thought it would have been better if he did not call him at all. But now he could not run away anymore, because unnecessarily calling him would have been something that could piss off Hyesung even more.

“It’s me.”

“I know.” Eric heard Hyesung’s tired sigh. “What do you want? I’m busy you see.”

“I just wanted to ask something, but if you are busy it’s…”

Hyesung interrupted. “Eric-ah, cough it out already.”

For a moment Eric was wondering why all of his fantasies were shattered into tiny pieces, but then he realized it was Shin Hyesung himself who killed of his dreams and it did not seem like it made him depressed even for a bit.

“Hyesung-ah~”

“Yes~?” Eric had to smile as the singer played together with him, surprisingly he seemed to be gotten into a better mood than when he answered his call.

“Let’s go on a date~”

For a moment Eric did not even hear Hyesung’s breathing and this worried him, however soon the singer answered and his reply did not surprise him at all. “I’m hanging up~”

“No, no, yah, Jung Pilgyo, do not hang up.”

“Say what you want.” Hyesung’s voice was strict and Eric literally heard the ticking noise of the clock counting the seconds he had left to speak up.

“Let’s just hang out for a bit today… we don’t need to call it a date…”

Again, silence, but this one was slightly longer. In his mind Eric had already buried this idea which was basically dead from the beginning, but Shin Hyesung managed to surprise him with his reply.

“Sure, let’s go on a date. Let’s meet up at our usual place. Seven o’clock is good for you?”

Eric had thrown itself on the offer like a madman, later he thought he had acted quite pitiful and regretted he acted so ‘easy’. “Of course, it’s good. Sure, usual place, seven o’clock.”

“I’ll see you there.” Hyesung added with a weird, never-heard-before tone in his voice causing Eric to look at his phone with a confused expression even long minutes after they had hanged up.

But he did not care about it for a long time even though it bothered him for some mysterious reason, the excitement of his upcoming date with Hyesung had taken over the control of his mind and body and heart and could not wait to see Hyesung that night.

Even if his fantasy won’t come true… still they can drink this or that, simply walk around in Seoul during night-time when the lights are the most beautiful and then they can still bid their farewell in front of Hyesung’s door.

Eric was more excited than ever.

 

“But how did things turn out like this…” He mumbled to himself on a tormented, squeaky voice as he looked around in the tiny ‘pub’ they usually went to, then he just leaned his head back onto the table giving up hope on everything one could.

Eric arrived safely to their place in time. That’s not the problem. Even Hyesung came surprising Eric even more. That’s not the problem. The problem was that Hyesung’s face for some reason was tired and repentant and as their gazes met he was gaping ‘ _I’m so sorry’_.

The problem was that behind him another person turned up, who was in normally his brother in everyday life, but this time he wished to murder him without mercy.

Because this time park Choongjae’s cheerful greeting annoyed him more than ever and it was hard to fight off his murderous urges when he heard ‘ _the others are already waiting inside’_.

“Just when did my date turned into a Shinhwa meeting…” He mumbled brokenly again. “When I’ve thought my chance had finally came…”

He looked up wishing everything was just a dream, but he saw the same sight as minutes before so he just emptied the beer from his glass and put his head back onto the table.

He felt miserable and he wished he could just kick out all the members only having the place to himself and Hyesung.

However soon he felt someone sat down next to him, but because the person was so close their legs and shoulders were touching, he thought it must be either Minwoo or Junjin in a drunken state. But when he turned his head to see which of them was it his eyes literally went wide seeing Hyesung with slightly red cheeks looking straight into his eyes holding two glasses of beer.

“Here, drink this.” He said and put one of the glasses in front of him, then he just put the other one to his lips and drank his own drink completely naturally, as if their current position was not intimate at all.

But it was, actually. Eric had realized sitting like this with Hyesung was completely different from sitting with anyone. And as he thought about it Hyesung was sitting even closer to him than they usually do even with the others.

Hyesung gently aligned to him like silk, like a beautiful piece of clothes that was fitting Eric perfectly.

Also, he brought him drink at the moment he emptied his other glass as if he was watching him and with this Eric did not understand anything anymore. Still, Hyesung managed to confuse him even more when he talked.

“I’m sorry.” He said and Eric was listening to him carefully, but no matter how hard he tried to hear any kind of sign the would tell him Shin Hyesung was drunk, he never found it. “Actually I was together with Choongjae when you called me and he heard everything… from then on he was completely unstoppable and organized this meet up…”

Hyesung looked resentful again, he looked like as if he was blaming himself hard and regretted letting Junjin hear about their plans. More and more Eric was surprised on Hyesung and his weird acting.

“I’ll make it up to you…” Hyesung said finally and Eric could have bet his whole life he saw a faint smile and a weird glint disappearing in the moment they had born on Hyesung’s angelic face.

He would have bet anything he was so sure, because that sweet smile and warm gaze were the most beautiful things Eric Moon had ever seen in his whole life and from then on he could discover them from time to time on the same face if he looked carefully, if he only looked at this one gorgeous face…


	4. Eric and OST

“Hyesungie?”

Eric was surprised when he recognized the singer behind his huge sunglasses on the set of his new drama, Discovery of Romance.

He was in the middle of working, and just finished a scene and had a break when he saw a suspicious figure slaloming among the staff, trying not to stand out, but only his acting attracted everyone’s gaze and so Eric recognized Shin Hyesung in the suspicious person.

So he walked up to him while he was showing his back to Eric and patted his shoulder only causing Hyesung to turn around frightened.

“Ah, Eric…” He mumbled kind of embarrassed. “So you are here…”

“Where would I be?” Eric laughed. “Why, were you looking for me?”

“No…” Hyesung mumbled again diverting his gaze.

Both of them turned silent for a few moments. Hyesung was just looking at everything except for Eric, who was literally staring a hole into the singer’s face. If he wanted to be honest he would have admitted that he was fascinated by the sight: Hyesung’s red cheeks and slightly quivering lips were cute, he had a hard time to hold back himself from jumping at him and hugging the soul out of him.

However, Eric knew it was not time for that now, it would distract his work, though, he was sure the sight of Hyesung’s face is going to stay with him for the whole day only to mix up his thoughts and the lines from the script he had already learnt.

“Hyesung-ah, why are you here?” He asked suddenly to break the embarrassing silence.

“Just dropped in.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I was close anyway, I was recording a song, so… I’ve thought I come and see how you are doing… I mean everyone, not just you…”

At the end of his sentence it seemed like Hyesung got confused by his own words, his cheeks inflamed even more and so he just sighed and diverted his gaze again and mumbled something to save his skin. “I see everything comes together well.”

Eric could not move on this easily, seeing Hyesung like this made his heart race, still, he did not want the singer to feel uncomfortable so he just played along.

“Yes.” He nodded agreeing. “The staff is really professional, the actors are great and we have this chemistry with Yoomi, so we work quite well…”

Hyesung looked at him with a weird expression by the mention of Yoomi’s name, but he immediately changed it and nodded. “I see.”

Silence had fallen on them again and Hyesung’s bright expression had disappeared, too, taken over by melancholic, almost sad feelings.

Seeing him like this tightened Eric’s chest and it awakened his unwanted hope for something he had always desired, something that deep inside had always been there in his heart and these days came to the surface more and more thanks to Hyesung’s way of acting.

“I’ve heard you are going to sing the OST…” Eric said. “Thank you. I’m glad, after all we have worked together like this in the past…”

Hyesung smiled and with shining eyes he just waved it off. “We are members after all, it’s natural. I’m happy I can take part in this.”

“Yoomi is happy, too.” He added and was curiously watched Hyesung’s reaction. He thought it was dirty to ‘play’ like this, still, he wanted to see if Hyesung reacts the same way he did the first time when he talked about his acting partner.

He did not have too much hope, still, he was shocked as he was watching the gleam disappearing from his eyes, his lips curved down and the adorable blush turned back white on his cheeks. His expression turned sombre and he was already in a bad mood.

However, even though Hyesung seemed like he could kill anyone at that moment, Eric was happy, incredibly happy. He could not control his emotions anymore, so unconsciously he grabbed Hyesung’s arm and pulled him away to a corner where no one saw them or bothered them.

“Shin Hyesung, are you jealous?” He asked bluntly and he could only smile watching Hyesung’s cheeks on fire again.

“Wha… What? Are you crazy?!” He hissed with widened eyes and wanted to free his arm from Eric’s grip, but he did not let him go. “Yah, let go of my…”

“Are you jealous of Yoomi? This is why you came, right? You could not bear with the thought of me being on set with a beautiful lady, so you came here to check on me… this is the truth, right?”

“You are crazy…” Hyesung mumbled lowering his head, working hard on freeing himself.

“Jung Pilgyo… I know you, stop lying.”

Hyesung froze for a moment and finally stopped trying to escape. He sighed giving up, stepped closer to Eric and without looking at him he leant his head onto his shoulder.

“It’s all your fault.” He mumbled.

“Hyesung-ah…”

Eric wanted to touch his shoulder, he wanted to hug him, but he pulled his hand back when Hyesung suddenly looked up at him with a sad and furious expression at the same time. “Just how should I feel or react? You are all like ‘Yoomi this and Yoomi that’ and then you are with her for like the whole day, and you have… kissing scenes, too… Just what do you except from me? I was scared…”

Eric was surprised how easily Hyesung had admitted everything and he had to smile how adorable the singer was at that moment. Foolishly adorable.

“Scared? From what?” He smiled as he patted his shoulder.

“That you would start to like her…” Hyesung said finally making Eric’s heart skip a beat. “That you would stop following me and pestering me… that you would not like me anymore…”

This was the last drop, Eric could not bear with his overflowing happy emotions anymore. He cupped Hyesung’s face and before he kissed him he sputtered out of breath “You are so stupid, so stupid! I could never stop liking you, you big idiot!”

 

“… Eric? Eriiic… Yah, Mun Junghyuk!”

Angry yelling had threw him off of his daze and when he looked around he was on set and in front of him Hyesung was standing with an angry expression.

He let out a tired sigh when he realized the previous scene was all in his head and actually he just called out to him and froze.

‘So embarrassing’ He thought and he really wished to bury himself, but before that he wanted to see a doctor because of his hallucinations, because they seemed to come out more frequently and literally anytime during the day.

“What’s with you?” Hyesung hissed. “Calling out to me and then staying so quiet with such a scary expression…”

“Sorry, sorry.” Eric laughed embarrassed. “Something just came to my mind…”

“Tsk.” Hyesung only replied this with a judging expression, then he sighed as if scolding himself it’s not right to act this way, so he just gently patted Eric’s shoulder and said. “You must be tired, good work for today.”

Eric was not actually tired, still, he nodded trying to get a bit of sympathy out of the singer. “Yeah, I’m a bit tired… I did not sleep much anyway, I was studying the script.”

“I’ve thought so.” Hyesung nodded understanding and Eric could not ignore the fact that Hyesung had the same expression like the one in his fantasy. “So I’ve bought you coffee.”

Eric only noticed now what Hyesung was holding in his hands: two cups of coffee from a shop, one for probably himself and one for… Eric?

The leader was devastated, he never would have guessed the day will come when Shin Hyesung would not just visit him on set, but would bring him coffee, too.

So he took it with a satisfied grin and after drinking from it he asked “Hyesung-ah, why are you here anyway?”

Hyesung did not look surprised. With a rather neutral expression – something Eric did not except at all -  he replied “I’ve dropped in. I wanted to see what I’m going to give my voice for.”

“Ah I see… So why did you decide to sing the OST?” Eric asked curiously and kind waited to get a similar expression like in his fantasy. He did not deny he wanted to get an ending for this situation like for the one in his head. “Are you jealous perhaps? Of Yoomi?” He grinned when Hyesung looked at him startled. “Worried about me getting stolen?”

“Are you insane?” Hyesung watched him with lifted eyebrows and looked like as if he was thinking ‘are you stupid or what, don’t make me laugh’. “I’m a singer, aren’t I? Singing OST is part of my job… aren’t you full of yourself…” Eric was looking at him doubting, so he added: “We are not promoting at the moment… I need to live, too, you know…”

Eric just drank from his coffee again and did not say anything anymore. Hyesung convinced him he did not have any kind of hidden purpose with coming on to set, everything he said was true.

‘This cold bastard’ He cursed in his head.

The leader gave up, he did not even try anymore. He sighed tired, somehow he knew they will come to this, somehow again his fantasies were shattered by the ill-mannered Jung Pilgyo. However, as Hyesung turned away he mumbled something and Eric could only turn to his direction shocked.

He did not know if he was hallucinating or just wanted it so much, but that time he could swear he heard Hyesung saying:

"As if Yoomi would stand any chance against me..."


	5. Eric and dating II.

“Eric-ah. Are you free tomorrow?”

Eric was completely caught off his guard when after recording Hyesung grabbed his arm, pulled him away to a hidden corner where no one could hear them and with the most serious expression Shin Hyesung could wear on his gorgeous face he asked this short, but awfully meaningful question.

Eric was surprised, shocked, actually millions of feelings were swirling in his heart, but he was unable to name them. What he knew was that his legs were weak and it took him a lot not to have his mouth open as he was staring at the singer.

He had to pull himself together, though, because soon Hyesung’s face showed displease and Eric knew he should not anger him, especially not at a time when he asked something like this from him and he still did not know the reason or to where Hyesung was going with this.

“Why?” He finally managed to squeeze this short question out of himself, and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the changes in Hyesung’s expression: though he wanted to look like as if he was displeased, as if he was going to say something he really did not want to, the slight blush on his cheeks gave him away. Shin Hyesung was preparing to ask something that was embarrassing for him and so, it excited Eric quite badly.

“I have two tickets for this movie.” He said sighing as if it was an awfully burdensome thing. “There is this movie I wanted to watch and a friend of mine got tickets, I wanted to go with him. But suddenly he told me he can’t make it so he gave me the tickets and said take someone else. And I remember you said you wanted to see this movie, too.” For a moment he paused, swept his hair out of his eyes with an expression saying he did not care about whatever Eric said or whether he wants to go or not, then talked again. “And I still owe you with a date, or whatever you want to call it, that I messed up the last time. I promised I will make it up to you… So, are you free tomorrow?”

“Sure, yes I am.” He replied immediately without thinking.

“The movie starts at 7 pm, so be in front of the cinema at 6.40 pm. We meet outside so make sure to put on warm clothes… it’s the beginning of winter, but I’ve heard it might already snow.” Hyesung said, more like ordered, and without waiting for Eric’s response he left.

However, even if he waited he would not have received not even a word from Eric, because the leader’s mind was completely blank.

First of all, it was a shock Hyesung asked him out like this, even bringing up their last-time-failed date, even titling it as a date. Eric thought he had already forgotten about it, but in the end the singer remembered and even kept his promise of making it up to Eric. The leader was stunned and he honestly did not understand what was going on with Hyesung.

However, this was actually his smallest problem at the moment.

Truth was… Eric was not free at all. Actually, his next day had the type of schedule which made him wanting to throw away everything, run away to an uninhabited island and eat bananas until the rest of his life.

His day was going to be painfully busy and he cursed at himself for saying he was free without thinking. Because he was stupid for promising something – after all saying he is free and setting a date to meet up could be counted as a promise – when he was not sure he can make it there in time at all.

“No, Mun Jung Hyuk.” He mumbled and even slapped his face. “You can make it, you HAVE TO make it.”

He really thought like that, he had to be able to arrive there in time or else he would loose everything. He just could not miss such a chance which basically offered himself. Just when would he ever get another chance where Shin Hyesung, The Hyesung, would ask him out like this… just when would he get a chance to go on a date with him which he also names as a date?

Probably never.

It was also a miracle the last time he accepted his offer – Eric really did not know what was going on with Hyesung these days -, so this time he could definitely not mess up.

He had to make it or else everything was over. They can just finish the meetings sooner - why would they even talk about things for hours. They already know the choreographies they need to -why wasting so much time on something they already know and even make their muscles hurt. As for ShinCom matters… they have to understand Eric has some really important things to do, they need to understand this!

And so like this Eric decided he can definitely make it, because for the first time in his and Shinhwa’s life… Eric’s love life was the priority.

He actually felt bad, acting this way was not like him at all not even a bit, but he calmed himself with mumbling ‘just this once’. Though it did not help at all, but he promised to himself he is going to make it up to Shinhwa by working extra harder in the future.

But as for now… he can’t miss his chance.

He had already imagined how they would meet up in front of the cinema. He would be awfully surprised, because Hyesung would smile at him with the brightest smile he has and would say how happy he was Eric could come with him, because like this he don’t need to feel embarrassed for watching a movie alone. Then slightly blushing he tells him he is actually happier going with him, than with his friend.

Eric only smiles and pats Hyesung’s shoulder saying he is really happy he asked him out, watching a movie with Hyesung is a pleasure and wanted to do it for a long time now – and Hyesung would blush even more, and how adorable he would be!

Like this, kind of awkward, they would enter the cinema, they buy popcorn – strictly one huge pack of popcorn – and would go into the screening room, sit down, put the popcorn between them and wait for the movie to start.

When the movie starts they would be quite absorbed in it, though, they would be still conscious of each others’ presence and so, when they both reach onto the package for popcorn and accidentally touch each others’ hands their bodies slightly tense up – however instead of pulling away they touch more and in the end hold hands after putting the popcorn package away, and they would not mind, because it’s dark and no one see them… and because it’s dark they feel less embarrassed and their warm touch feels more intense.

Soon, they would feel it’s not enough anymore and would tilt their bodies so their shoulders would touch, then Hyesung would lean his had onto Eric’s shoulder and Eric would lean his head onto Hyesung’s. And they would stay like that until the rest of the movie.

But at the end when the room turns bright they pull away immediately, don’t say anything, awkwardly turning their head away and leave the building like that.

They would walk in silence in the night, they both feel embarrassed but there is something else between them: a weird tempting feeling and Eric could not resist anymore.

He grabs Hyesung’s hand and pulls him into an empty alley... ... …

 

However, nothing had turned out the way Eric wanted it to starting from the beginning. He could not shorten their meeting, he could not shorten their practise. And even after Hyesung mumbling ‘do not dare to be late’ before leaving the company he could not wrap up anything he planned to.

With a bittersweet, tortured smile he bore with the thought that someone is playing tricks on him on this important day, because suddenly millions of problems had appeared on the surface and suddenly everyone wanted to talk with him and suddenly he had to solve this and that and he could not even ask Minwoo to help out, because the vice-CEO was already flooded with the same amount of work as Eric.

However, there was still a ray of hope when he could finally escape from the paperwork and the people telling him not too bright news related to the company, because as he looked at his watch he thought – more like prayed – there was still some time left.

“I can make it.” He said to himself sighing in relief. “I can still even go home to change.” And so he jumped into his car and drove home to change into some better clothes – even though they only went to the cinema, still, he wanted to look good for Hyesung and he thought his huge black circles under his eyes and his not too pleasant body odour was not something that could be titled as overly attractive.

As he arrived home he threw his phone onto the sofa in the living room, then went to the bathroom to have a quick shower. When he was ready he noted satisfied that his black circles were not so black anymore and he had a fresher appearance now. Without caring about anything he walked around naked in the house – after all there was no one who could have seen him except for poor Gomdori -, went to his bedroom, put on some clothes that he thought were the best for meeting Hyesung and when he was ready it was already time to leave, so after putting on his coat and scarf and shoving his gloves into his coat pocket he left his house, sat into his car again and went right to the direction of the cinema smiling satisfied, after all everything went according to his plan even if there were some problems at the beginning.

He was sure they are going to have a great time that night.

 

“I’m not going to make it.” He sighed as he leaned back on the seat and looked at the huge line in front of his car, then looked back and realized it was impossible to turn back and take another route, because there was already a long line behind his vehicle.

“Really, this is ridiculous…” He mumbled. “It had to be today, this is so...”

While grumbling to himself a police officer who seemed to be stopping by every car had knocked on his window, so he rolled it down only to hear the horrible news: for at least two hours they definitely will have to wait until they can go.

He waited until the officer left and let out a quite a juicy curse.

Automatically he reached to his pocket for his phone to call Hyesung and tell he definitely won’t be able to arrive in time, so just go in and watch the movie, however both his pockets were flat making him widen his eyes in pure terror. His heartbeat quickened and in a panic-like state he started to look for his phone everywhere he could think of when suddenly the realization struck into his head leaving a dull pain in his chest: he left his phone at home.

He put it threw it onto the sofa before he took a shower and he was in such a hurry… he forgot to take it.

“Oh, God… why are you doing this to me…” He mumbled on a tortured voice leaning his head onto the wheel.

He was desperate, he had no idea what to do, and the time was ticking getting closer and closer to that certain point which Eric waited for so much, but now he frantically hated.

He could not believe all of this had happened to him. He was so happy and excited because of the date with Hyesung and now all his dreams and good feelings were shattered into tiny pieces because he was unlucky or fate wanted to play a joke on him. Either way now he was just simply sad and broken, and if he could he would have jumped out of the car and ran to the cinema, but it was way too far to do it, also, he could not just leave his car there in the middle of the traffic jam.

When he was already sitting there for an hour now he had already lost all of his hopes, and as he looked at his watch and saw even the movie had already started a while ago, again, he leant his head onto the wheel and let out a bitter sigh.

He imagined Hyesung had already called him numerous times, he imagined him being furious for getting stood up and Eric was sure the next day he definitely going to be beaten up. He did not actually mind it, honestly, he was the first person who wanted to beat his own self up for loosing this golden chance even if it’s not his fault.

Either way, Hyesung was there in the cinema watching the movie, eating the popcorn alone and Eric was here in the middle of a traffic jam until who knows when… not being able to hold Hyesung’s hand…

 

It was already pitch black when he stopped his car in the parking lot of the cinema, only the street lamps served with light. He knew the movie was already over, still, he hurriedly got out of the car and stopped in front of the cinema trying not to get swept away by the human ocean leaving the building.

He looked around – still trying his best not to get in the way of the people (and most importantly not to get recognized) – and searched for a familiar face in the crowd, the face he would have found literally anywhere and anytime.

However, no matter how hard he searched in the end he failed to find Hyesung and somehow he was sure he already went home cursing at Eric literally nonstop and Eric was not really sure if he wanted to see him the next day. It was quite risky taking his physical safety into account.

He sighed and turned around planning to leave even though he just arrived, when he looked up and his gaze met with a familiar and kind of surprised pair of eyes. He was standing there about 3-4 metres from him in his hands freshly fried sweet potato for two persons.

It was Shin Hyesung.

Eric’s heart skipped a beat as he saw Hyesung’s figure slightly gleaming as he was standing under the light of a street lamp having his slim body wrapped in the fog. He felt like someone was grabbing tight his chest and a painful lump had appeared in his throat.

Hyesung was still there, he did not leave.

This thought was like a blow into his stomach, it paralyzed his whole body so he did not move at all, only watched Hyesung who approached him when he realized it was Eric.

“Oh, so His Majesty finally appeared…” He said sarcastically not even trying to hide the displease in his voice. “Just where the hell were you? I’ve called you like million times, but you did not pick up your phone.”

Hyesung asked so many questions, but Eric’s mind was blank. After a few moments he rubbed his face and on a slightly hoarse voice he asked “Did you wait for me all this time?”

For a moment Hyesung was just staring at Eric lifting one of his eyebrows, then he just turned his head away fixing his gaze on the entrance of the cinema, slightly pouting his lips. “No” He replied on a weird sounding voice. “I watched the movie, then went to buy these.” Slightly lifted the sweet potatoes. “On my way I saw a street vendor cart selling them and decided to buy some after the movie.”

He looked at the food – he found it weird why he was holding enough for two people -, then looked back at Hyesung’s face and he only noticed it now how red his cheeks were, how his lips were slightly purple and he found this weird, too. However, his consciousness warned him not to over think anything, instead, he felt bad for making Hyeusng suffer because of him.

Still, his feelings kept bugging him and could not stop himself asking “But the movie just ended, people left the moment when I’ve arrived, just when did you…”

“Ah, that…” He looked like as if the sudden realization hit him, he looked flustered for a moment, then as if he figured out the answer he said “I left during the ending credits… I was hungry you know and wanted to eat sweet potatoes ever since I’ve seen the street vendor cart…”

“I see…” In the end Eric said nodding, accepting Hyesung’s answer. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled in the end directing Hyesung’s curious gaze on himself. “I was stuck in a traffic jam until now… there was an accident in front of me… and of course I forgot my phone at home so I could not call you.”

“Are you okay?”

“What?” Eric did not understand Hyesung’s question.

“You said there was an accident… Are you alright?” He seemed honestly concerned and this slightly brightened Eric’s mood.

“Yes, of course, it already happened when I’ve arrived there so I did not get mixed up in it.”

“Alright then.” Hyesung sighed smiling to himself – surprising Eric with his reaction -, then looked at the sweet potatoes on his hands, looked back at Eric and with the warmest gaze Hyesung had he handed over one of the packages to Eric. “Here, take this, you must be hungry, we did not have much chance to eat today… and you even had to work overtime...”

Eric was honestly touched by Hyesung’s acting – suddenly he thought about if this was all a prank camera or the person in front of him was actually not Shin Hyesung but a clone or something -, he smiled and took the food, but as he accidentally touched Hyesung’s hand shiver ran through his spine: those beautifully carved hands were just as cold as if they were made from ice.

Eric was surprised by the coldness of his touch, but did not say anything. Instead he cleared his throat and said: “Let’s go and eat something, I’ll treat you.”

For a few moments Hyesung just looked at him with a curious look slightly tilting his head, then he grinned and patted Eric’s shoulder. “I’ll eat you out of your money as a revenge for getting stood up.” He winked and Eric could only laugh, after all he knew in the end Hyesung would not let him pay for everything. “I’ve seen a good-looking place about fifteen minutes walk from here, let’s go. We can eat the sweet potatoes on our way there.”

Eric nodded and followed Hyesung who turned his back to him and went to the direction he came from. The leader quickened his steps and soon he caught up to Hyesung, and like that they just silently – slightly awkwardly – were walking next to each other while peeling their potatoes.

From the corner of his eyes Eric was watching Hyesung, his bright red cheeks and ears, his slightly purple lips, then his gaze slipped to his red hands that seemed to have paralyzed from the cold, after all as Eric was watching him longer and longer he realized Hyesung had a hard time to peel the potato.

However, the thing that shocked him was not that he found it weird to get into this state from that amount of time Hyesung said he spent outside, but that his gaze got stuck on something that was peeking outs from the pocket of his coat:

Two cinema tickets – unused.

That was the moment when everything came together like a puzzle and he realized the truth: no, Hyesung did not go in and watched the movie. The truth was he was staying at the spot they talked about the whole time, he was standing outside in the cold waiting for Eric for literally hours. This perfectly explained why Hyesung’s body was in the condition that worried Eric.

He did not leave, but stayed and as he imagined Hyesung standing there, from time to time breathing warm air onto his hands to stop them being cold, looking at the time continuously waiting and waiting… it made Eric feel as if someone had stabbed him in the heart.

His heart hurt for Hyesung and at the same time he was confused, he did not understand – or maybe did not dare to understand – why he would do that, why he would jeopardize his health like this.

Eric wanted to cry from the pain he felt in his chest, he wanted to bury himself he felt so sorry and apologetic, but first of all he just wanted to grab Hyesung and pull him into his arms to warm up him, he did not want him to feel cold ever again in his life.

“Yah, give that to me.” He said suddenly and pointed at Hyesung’s food with his head. “I’ll peel it for you.”

“What? Why would I? I can do this.” He mumbled angrily and continued his fight, but his hands were obviously frozen, he had a hard time to do anything and this made Eric feel worse.

“Yah, just give it to me, can’t you just listen to me this once...” He repeated himself on a stronger and scolding tone making Hyesung handing his food over with a surprised and sheepish expression. Then Eric reached into his pocket, pulled out his gloves and gave it to the singer. “Put them on.”

Hyesung furrowed his eyebrows, he seemed to be annoyed by Eric’s sudden came pampering. “I pass, I don’t need it…”

“Jung Pilgyo, please…” Eric was surprised, too, how tortured his voice sounded, but he did not care anymore, he just wanted to have Hyesung safe.

For a moment Hyesung was staring at him taken aback, then lowered his head trying to hide his embarrassed expression and put on Eric’s gloves. “Tsk, if you insist…” He grumbled, then sighed and on a softer tone he said “Thank you… It’s so nice warm…”

Eric looked at Hyesung, but his eyes widened in amazement by the sight that appeared in front of him:

Little snowflakes were falling from the sky being like myriad tiny gems glowing around Hyesung, still, his warm and happy smile was the brightest and most beautiful out of all the jewels and gems of the world.

And all Eric could think about was reality seemed to be so much better than simple fantasy.

 


	6. Eric and nursing

Shin Hyesung caught a cold.

A few days after the ‘cinema-incident’ he suddenly collapsed in the studio and the members had to take him to the hospital – by force and with huge struggles, because the singer himself denied the obvious fact he was sick and wanted to continue recording.

Turns out he had a high fever. Though everyone saw he did not really look good, and honestly, his voice was not in the best condition either. His singing was all hoarse and basically it sounded nothing like him, compared to Hyesung’s angelic voice it was quite unpleasant – if he could sing at all and was not interrupted by his coughing attacks per minute.

Of course, he was stubborn as always saying he was alright trying to act all hyper until he ran out of energy and the sickness had taken control over him, having him end up in the hospital lying on a bed with an IV tube hanging out of his arm.

Eric felt guilty and as he was sitting in the hospital waiting for Hyesung to come out of the examining room – they took him there immediately when he got worse in the studio, but they were promised they could take him back once he got his shot – he was thinking about how he could make it up to Hyesung.

After all it was his fault, Eric was sure the reason he got so sick was the cinema incident and so, he felt responsible.

Even after they could finally bring Hyesung home Eric was still worrying about this whole thing.

After getting some medicine through the IV Hyesung had a better colour, though his voice was more hoarse than before threatening him with loosing his it completely, also, he looked weak wobbling through the hall and stopping in front of his home waving tired at the members saying  - more like whispering - they should go home and stop worrying, he was alright. Even though in the car Dongwan had noted his fever was coming back again.

Eric was worried about the singer. Not only because he felt responsible, but because it was a person important to him, it was Hyesung.

In the end after he arrived home he did nothing, but walked around restless, thinking about what he could do for Hyesung without being beaten or cursed at, but in the end he realized it was actually perfectly unnecessary, after all no matter what he did Hyesung always cursed at him, so actually… he could do whatever he wanted, it wouldn’t make any difference.

Eric smiled to himself as he changed his clothes for something more comfortable that was still acceptable to go out, then took his wallet and phone and prayed he could still find an open pharmacy this late night…

It was already around 11 PM when Eric rang Hyesung’s doorbell.

He was carrying two bags: one full with food, fruit and the other one had some medicine, because Eric was sure Hyesung did not buy anything the doctor prescribed, after all they came back straight from the hospital and no matter how hard Dongwan tried to persuade him to let’s stop on their way back home at the pharmacy, Hyesung just shook his head saying he has medicine at home.

Eric doubted this and so he decided to buy some.

It was cold and as he was standing there waiting for the singer to answer the door he thought icicles are going to grow on his nose.

It was snowing and the beautiful whiteness had already covered up the streets just like a blanket only leaving out Eric’s fresh footsteps.

It was freezing and in annoyance Eric pushed the doorbell again allowing himself a low curse, though, he knew actually it was all his fault, after all it was him going there uninvited so late. He even thought maybe Hyesung was already sleeping – it was a hard day for him -, but when he thought maybe he should just leave and continue worrying just like he did until now, he heard the noise of unlocking the door and he saw a familiar-seeming head popping up behind the door.

“What do you want…” Hyesung’s voice was worse than before, he was pale, but at the same time his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were gleaming feverish.

If Eric wanted to be completely honest he would have said the usually gorgeous and charming Shin Hyesung looked like sh*t, but instead he just noted he looked like someone who was beaten quite badly in an alleyway and now tried to pull himself together.

“Let me in, I’ve bought you medicine, fruit, some food…” Eric said lifting the bags trying to smile warmly thinking that might help him heal. Though, it looked like Hyesung got worse from that.

“I don’t need it… go home…” He whined annoyingly lengthening his words. He was in a grouchy mood, Eric realized, and this did not make him feel lucky or anything.

Grouchy Hyesung was the worst kind of Hyesung.

“Yah, don’t be like this…” He tried to soften him with his usual sweetly childish manner.

“No... I don’t want to…” He whined again, he coughed for about a full minute, then tried to fill his lungs with air and in a tortured voice he continued. “I’m a mess… Go home… I look horrible…”

Eric just waved as if it was nothing. “I saw you in worse condition before.”

“Eric-ah, you’ll catch my cold, don’t be like this.”

“Only an idiot catches a cold.” Eric grinned, winked at Hyesung only deserving a cold stare.

“Are you stupid or what…” He lifted one of his eyebrows only to give more credit to his words. “The proverb says idiots cannot catch a cold…”

“Whatever. Let me in, it’s freezing.”

“If you are cold then go home.” Hyesung mumbled and wanted to close the door, but Eric immediately put his foot between the door and the doorway to stop him from doing so.

“Yah,” He hissed slightly annoyed. “Should I call your mother? Then you can listen to her nagging for eternity.”

In the end Hyesung sighed, opened the door wide and he just turned his back to Eric and stepped inside so Eric could enter, and once Eric took off his shoes he walked in to the living room with him.

Hyesung clearly looked uncomfortable having Eric over in this state of his and this honestly entertained the leader, it was hard for him to hold back his laughter and actually walk up to the singer and hug the remaining life out of him.

But again, as he was watching Hyesung standing in the middle of his living room looking around as if he was trying to answer a “now what?” question in his head, he looked so weak, so thin, he looked like a shadow.

His eyes were baggy, teary from the fever, his cheeks frightfully red and it seemed like he had a hard time staying on his feet. An icy cold feeling had stuck into Eric’s chest and he did not feel entertained anymore. He felt bad for Hyesung and he was worried about him.

He put down the bags onto the sofa, then walked up to Hyesung and gently put his hand onto his forehead to measure his fever. However, the singer’s whole body tensed up due to surprise, his eyes widened and pushed away Eric.

“Yah don’t touch me so suddenly… you are gross.” He said annoyed. “Just leave those here and go home. I’m tired and you are annoying…”

 _‘Tsk… you are lucky you are sick…’_  Eric thought as he had gotten slightly angry by Hyesung’s behaviour, he just sighed trying to ignore everything the singer said and decided to do the same with everything he was going to say.

“Did you take your medicine?”

“I was going to now…” He replied resentfully as he realized Eric was not going to leave any time soon.

“Have you eaten yet?”

Hyesung shook his head rolling his eyes. “Nah... I feel like puking…”

“You stupid, you can’t take medicine like that…” Eric let out a resigned sigh. “I’ll make you rice porridge... so you can take the medicine with it and go to sleep after eating.”

“I’m not a kid you know, I can take care of myself, so just leave –“

“You clearly can’t if you don’t even know how to take your medicine.” Eric stated and he had a hard time not to laugh on Hyesung’s momentary expression.

For a moment Hyesung looked at Eric with widened eyes due to fury, then he just sighed – he did not know any good comebacks – and just mumbled “Do not burn my kitchen” as he turned his back to Eric and retreated to his bedroom.

 

Cooking in Hyesung’s kitchen had a kind of feel Eric thought he was going to treasure until the rest of his life. Everything had the touch of Hyesung’s, his scent was lingering all around and this fogged Eric’s mind and made him smile unintentionally.

There was something in Hyesung being so vulnerable and depending on Eric. It made Eric’s heart flutter and by the time the rice porridge got ready he wore a wide grin on his face, from time to time he even hummed a melody that came to his mind that moment.

When he went into Hyesung’s bedroom the singer was lying on his back in his bed, half covered with his blanket. He was covered in sweat – and for some reason it made him look way too attractive for Eric -, his eyes were closed and looked like he had a hard time breathing as if it caused him a lot of pain or at least it tired him out.

However, as soon as he heard the door closing – even though Eric worked hard to move silently – he opened his eyes and looked at him, then at the plate he was balancing on a tray and looked mortified.

“What did you…”

“I made you some rice porridge.” Eric replied, walked up to Hyesung’s bed and without asking he sat down next to Hyesung and put the tray on his lap. “You must be hungry, so eat a bit, then take your medicine and go to sleep. You look like sh*t.”

For a few moments it seemed like Hyesung’s face got redder, then he just sighed while shaking his head and said: “I don’t remember asking you to nurse me. I’m alright on my own, go home Eric.”

“Oh, just shut up and eat this, will you…” Hyesung’s eye widened in surprise from Eric’s annoyed reply. “Hyesung-ah… let me take care of you, hm? And eat from the porridge, it doesn’t taste bad at all.”

For a minute Hyesung was just looking straight into Eric’s eyes as if he was searching for an answer for a question Eric had no idea about. Then he broke his gaze away, reached for the tray with the porridge and put it onto his own lap. “Spoon.”

Eric handed it over grinning (‘Hah, I won’) and  watched Hyesung as he took a spoonful from the porridge and slowly lifted it to his mouth.

“Mun Jung Hyuk.” He said before eating. “This better be good, because I don’t feel like facing food poisoning besides my cold. And I would take you with me to death.” Then he took the spoon into his mouth and the fact he did not say anything, but continued eating made Eric laugh – of course only in his head.

He could not remember when was the last time Hyesung actually ate something he made…

 

Hyesung ate well, though, he would have never actually admitted it, but for Eric it was more than enough the singer cleaned the plate and looked satisfied.

Eric brought the plate back to the kitchen, then returned to the bedroom with a bottle of water and medicine against his fever which, he believed, helped him to sleep, too.

“Are you my mother…” Hyesung mumbled as he took the water and the medicine, drank and gave the bottle back to Eric and this made him smile. He was complaining, still, he actually depended on him.

“What mother… I’m your best friend!” Eric winked and he was waiting for a curse as a comeback, but instead Hyesung fell back onto his bed and let out a deep sigh.

Eric was sure his fever was high again and he must be tired, too.

For a few minutes he was just standing there next to Hyesung’s bed watching the singer’s chest slowly raising and falling back, his lips slightly parted as he was breathing and his eyes closed and this way his whole flushed face looked so peaceful and calm Eric had a hard time tearing away his gaze.

However, he wanted him to rest and he figured it would be easier if he was not there. He did everything he wanted, but not for his own consciousness not to feel guilty, but to see Hyesung was alright. And he thought he was well now or at least he will be once he wakes up.

So once he was sure the singer was sleeping, he just sighed – he wished he could watch him sleeping forever-, turned his back to him and wanted to leave when he suddenly felt a hand like a handcuff around his wrist and when he looked back he saw Hyesung half lying-half sitting, looking at him with a feverish gaze.

“Eric-ah…” His voice was hoarser than before and Eric was now sure his fever really must have gone up. “Stay with me…” His voice almost sounded begging. “Don’t leave me…”

Eric’s heart fluttered seeing Hyesung like this, hearing his voice begging him to stay – which literally never happened before.

He bit his lip, he did not know what to do, but Hyesung’s hand tightened around his wrist as if the singer knew Eric was uncertain. This never happened before and this was the moment when Eric realized it must be another fantasy of his acting up again, maybe in reality he was still cooking the porridge or he did not even leave his home, he was still worrying about what to do about Hyesung.

And this saddened him, but at the same time he decided to go with his fantasy.

Eric turned back to Hyesung and sat down to the same spot he was before. Even now Hyesung did not let go off his wrist, it looked like he was not planning to, because as soon as Eric sat down he got back his peaceful expression, lied down again and closed his eyes.

“Should I give you a goodnight kiss, too?” Eric laughed only to make Hyesung grumble in annoyance.

“Do you want to die…” He mumbled and said something more that was way too inaudible to understand, and a moment later he was already asleep, the medicine was finally taking an effect.

Eric did not move, as Hyesung asked he stayed there, guarding his dream.

It took him long to realize…

… This time it was not a fantasy.

 

A week later Eric was lying at home due to a cold which he certainly caught from Hyesung. He thought maybe the singer would help him out just like he did, but when he actually called him the only reply he received:

“Only idiots can catch a cold, huh?”

And that time Eric realized the scene that made his heart race and actually got his hopes up was nothing, but just the momentary weakness of a sick person.


	7. Eric and the holidays I.

“This is so depressing.”

Eric mumbled this sentence to himself for like the thousandth time that evening. No wonder, he was still in the studio long after the others had left, putting on the last touches on a song. He did not want to leave it for the next day, because there wasn’t much to do about it so he thought he might as well finish it and deal with other things the next day.

At least one thing less they had to take care of.

However, working on Christmas Eve was really depressing, especially staying late. Well, what could he do, he did not have a girlfriend he could spend the day with and it’s not like Hyesung had magically fell in love with him so the two of them could celebrate it together as a couple.

No. Eric did not have any of these options so he just stayed in the studio and buried himself into work instead of lying on his sofa watching the usual Christmas movies being shown in the TV during this time of the year, thinking about how pitiful he felt.

At least he did something useful – he thought – and like this it’s not Hyesung he thought about every second minute.

He was so focused on his work he did not hear anything from the world around him, he was only caring about producing the perfect music they could present to their fans – he did not even hear how the door opened with it’s annoying creaking sound and how the person who entered the studio had been standing behind him for about five minutes now.

Still, the leader did not notice anything only until that certain someone had tapped his shoulder, making the leader spin around in his chair letting out a shriek, touching his chest as if he wanted to stop his heart jumping out of his chest.

“For God’s sake Jung Pilgyo, do you want to kill me?!” He snapped as he saw the singer standing in front of him with a scary, devilish grin on his face. Eric honestly wanted to hit him.

“Serves you right.” He said. “You were defenceless.”

“You have sick jokes. You could have killed me.”

“You are one to talk…” Hyesung replied displeased and only with his expression he reminded Eric of his countless pranks he played on him and almost caused a heart attach to the singer.

Both of them fell silent, they ran out of things they could talk about. It’s usually been like this, it was so much easier for them to talk when the members were around them. This kind of saddened Eric, after all he preferred to be alone with Hyesung, he wanted to feel closer to him, still, at the same time being alone in the studio this way made him uncomfortable, he was kind of embarrassed and as he looked at Hyesung looking everywhere but him he knew the singer was just the same.

He wondered if this would ever change between them…

“Anyway” Hyesung talked first, he pulled out a chair which was occupied by Minwoo a few hours ago and sat down next to Eric, though he made sure to maintain that certain distance that always been there between them. A very troubling distance – Eric added in his mind. “Here.” Hyesung handed over a medium sized box to Eric. “What did you do by the way? Minwoo would be sad if he knew you stayed behind until this late and finished the work alone.”

“Why, what’s the time?” Eric asked not even looking at Hyesung, but being focused on opening the box. “I just finished making the last touches…”

“Jeez, and we say Minwoo is the workaholic one.” Hyesung grumbled putting his elbow on the mixer table – making sure not to push any buttons - where they had been sitting and leant his head on his hand showing a rather tired expression. “It’s going to be midnight soon.”

“Time sure flies by quickly.” Eric mumbled under his nose, then let out a surprised ‘oh’ when he finally opened the box. “Cake? What for?”

It was a slice of cake, typically the one people eat during Christmas and Eric was pleasantly surprised. Why would Shin Hyesung take the trouble and bring this to him so late at night…

No – Eric scolded himself in his head. – Do not think too much of this, there must be something more to it. Hyesung is not the kind of person who would just do this because he felt like that.

“It’s Christmas.” Hyesung said being completely engrossed with touching the buttons on the mixing board. “We are all poor single guys, at least we should do something Christmas-y during this time of the year.” Eric still looked at Hyesung with a suspicious expression making the singer snap. “What now?! I’ve already treated the others, if I left you out I would listen to your whining till eternity. I’ve thought I’ll just lessen the trouble and bring it to you.”

See – Eric noted to himself – I’ve told you not to think too much into it.  _Sigh_.

“Did you poison it?” Eric asked examining the cake which was not actually the prettiest slice he had ever seen. It looked quite… well it looked like it’s been through a lot. “It looks horrible.”

“Oh? You surely don’t need to eat it then, give it back.” Hyesung said annoyed and he looked fairly offended reaching towards him to take the box and this made Eric grin. In the end making Hyesung angry was a nice thing to do.

“No.” Eric shook his head, pulling away so Hyesung could not take the cake from him. “I eat it, you already gave it to me, it’s mine.”

“Then stop complaining and eat it.” Hyesung rolled his eyes and went back to his previous body position.

“I’ll eat Hyesungie’s cake well~” Eric said happily then he stopped all his movements and looked confused at the singer. “There is no fork.”

Hyesung pulled up his eyebrows the same confused, rolled to Eric with his chair and over his shoulder he looked into the box. “What? There should be one though…”

“But there isn’t…” Eric turned his head to look at Hyesung, however his whole body suddenly tensed and he felt the electric sensation running through his body as the tip of his and Hyesung’s noses brushed each other.

For the hundredth of a second they both gasped, they only looked into each others’ eyes both surprised and shocked, then Hyesung leaned back putting up the usual distance again and hit Eric’ shoulder. “Then eat with your hands, stop being a kid.” He said on a displeased tone, turned his back to him and rolled back to his original place.

“Sure…” Eric said still staring at Hyesung shocked and was wondering if this really happened… If they were really that close, if they really touched each other, if there really was a weird tension between them, if there really was a weird power pulling them towards each other… if Hyesung really blushed.

He was not sure. This all seemed like a weird dream and secretly he pinched his arm to see if he was not sleeping. But no, he was wide awake and like this everything seemed to be even weirder.

Both of them fell silent again. Hyesung was just looking around not leaving alone the buttons on the mixer table, Eric was just munching on his cake doing his best not to eat on himself, but as he thought, eating cake with his hands was quite uncomfortable – not exactly the eating process itself, but more like he was worried food will be dropped on the table and if that happens they are doomed.

“Ah, so depressing…” Suddenly Hyesung let out a loud sigh.

“What?” Eric asked still stuffing his mouth with cake.

“Spending Christmas Eve with you  _this way_ …” He mumbled under his nose and for the sake of the impact he leant his head onto the table. “…so depressing.”

“Well sorry, I did not ask you to come.” Eric replied annoyed. “Feel free to go home.” It’s not like this situation doesn’t make me depressed – he added in his head.

“Jerk.” He hissed. “Really, why wasting my good-will on you… such an ungrateful…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay I was just joking.” Eric interrupted him waving. “You know I’m grateful, thank you for the cake, it’s delicious.”

Hyesung looked satisfied – at least he smiled for the first time he arrived to the studio – then sighed again. “It would be nice to date  _someone_. And spend Christmas romantically.  _Together_.”

Eric scoffed. “Well then you’ll need to set lower your preferences, because I’m not sure you’ll find anyone who have a lot of aegyo and knit and they are feminine and pretty… what’s with the knitting anyway…”  _Here I’m for example. I don’t knit and I’m everything but feminine, still, we would manage if you set lower your damned preferences._

“Yeah, yeah… it’s not like you are any different.”

“Yes I am… I don’t really take into account any of the things I’ve said long time ago about my ideal type.”  _How could I? I’m in love with you, a band member who is a man… so far from my ideal type… what ideal type even… You turned me into a masochist, Shin Hyesung._

“You are so cool, be proud.” He said rolling his eyes. “For your information, my preferences are  _quite low these days_ …”

“That’s great then.” Eric replied not looking up to Hyesung, he was way too absorbed in his cake, he honestly did not have the knowledge of what he was saying. “Then go and date. Ask Dongwan for a blind date.”

For a few moments silence had taken over the room again, then Eric heard the sound of the chair moving and when he looked up he saw Hyesung standing looking at him with a scornful expression. “What?!”

“You are so bad.” Hyesung replied, his voice sounded quite offended and this worried Eric after all he had no idea what was going on.

“Why now? What did I do this time?!”

“You are such a bad bastard.”

“Shin Hyesung, I have no idea what’s your problem now…”

“That’s it, that’s my problem!” He stamped with his foot annoyed. “You are so hateful, I don’t even understand why  _anyone_  likes you!”

“Yah, Jung Pilgyo…” Eric was taken aback and could only look at him with widened eyes. “What’s with you…”

“I’m going home.” He stated angry, turned his back to Eric and walked to the door, however even if he opened the door he could not leave, because Eric followed him and grabbed his arm to stop him so he could figure out what he did wrong this time.

However, he completely forgot his hands were creamy from the cake and like this he managed to successfully smudge his clothes only to receive an outraged hit on his shoulder… again.

“You are so insensitive!” He hissed between his teeth. “You are a waste of my time and emotions. I’m leaving.”

And he really did left, leaving Eric behind with his confusion.

He really did not understand anything.

 

That night he suffered from the worst diarrhea ever and he bet the cause was the cake Hyesung bought for him. However, when he called the others the next day to ask them if they had any problems they all said no, only to leave him dumbfounded why he got sick.

In the end he called Hyesung, too, who only said “you deserve it” then hung up and so Eric knew he really did piss off the singer and he was still angry at him.

However, the problem was Eric had no idea what he did wrong, after all he was just enjoying Hyesung’s cake…


	8. Eric and the holidays II.

Out of the blue a heavy snowstorm swept through Seoul - many said the greatest in the history of the city - on New Year’s Eve, paralyzing the transport and its life completely.

It was so sudden – after all until then only just a tiny amount of snow covered the streets – everyone was shocked by the fact they had to become the prisoners of their own homes, after all the chance they could go anywhere besides using their legs was rather meagre.

Flights were cancelled, on the roads you could find accidents every second steps, shops - that should have been open – closed, and actually it was not advised to sit into a car even on the safest parts of the city, because there was a high chance you won’t move from the spot until you are either saved or the snow melted.

Eric was unbelievably annoyed as he was sitting on his sofa watching the news, loosing more and more hope he would ever be able to leave his home – or at least for a while.

Other times he would not be bothered to be honest, after all on his days off he just lazes around sleeping, eating and watching TV, but this time he wanted to do something different that required him leaving his house:

He wanted to go home for the New Years, he wanted to spend some time with his parents and facing the fact he can’t do this because of this idiotic white, cold and uncomfortable frozen water that had to fall down specifically this day kind of broke his heart.

He felt bad after all his parents were waiting for him eagerly with delicious meals and the warmth only parents can give their children, and when he talked to them about an hour ago he heard in their voices how sad they were and so this did not help Eric’s mood either.

But there was nothing to be done about it, as his mother told him, too: “it’s better to be safe, you can come over once it’s not dangerous to sit into a car. I would worry if we made you come all the way here when the roads are in such a horrible condition.”

In the end he just decided to stay home, sit on his sofa, watch TV and drink a cup of something he finds at home at midnight then go to sleep – once one reaches a certain age they don’t really feel like partying during the New Year’s and honestly, Eric just wished to rest – something that he could have done at his parents’ the most, he would be able to ignore even their nagging about how he should get married and have children.

However, the more time had passed the lonelier it got to sit in his dark living room, him all by himself not having anything to do to pass time.

He was actually very much used to the ‘liveliness’, to be among people and rarely ‘hearing silence’, but only when he was alone at home after a tiring day. It was not a surprise considering his job, also, the members cannot be titled as quiet or serious people bringing peace to Eric, they gave each other hell and loved to bother everyone even when they were not promoting – and it’s not like Eric minded it for even a moment. He was used to this and loved being with the members, he was grateful he had them. No wonder, he thought of them as brothers – well except for Hyesung… one does not have explicit fantasies about his brother.

And so, the cold silence of his home made him feel lonely and he felt miserable feeling like this a few hours before the end of the year. However, he was not sure whom to call, he had no idea what the others were doing – though he was kind of sure they did not have many plans either considering the weather -, and he did not really want to bother them.

Even though they loved to do that to each other, still, there is a huge difference between ‘bothering’ and ‘bothering’. It’s not always appropriate – even among 10+ years friends.

 

He dozed off when he was dragged back to reality by the vibrating of his phone on his stomach. It was already way too dark, only the TV screen – with some typical Christmas movie – gave some light to the room.

He looked at the screen which showed there was only about two hours until midnight ( _“should I just go to sleep_ ”), then he unlocked his screen only to see he received a text message from no one else, but the almighty Shin Hyesung and this surprised Eric.

It was weird and he did not know what to feel because these days Hyesung was just… well, weird.

Like during Christmas the cake incident – it was the ugliest piece of cake Eric had ever seen, still, the singer, who loved to maintain distance when it comes to Eric, went out his way to give it to him and he even kept him company – and this is how they spent Christmas Eve together, only just the two of them and this never once happened before.

Sure, that idyllic situation did not last long, because Hyesung suddenly got mad at him for a reason Eric had no idea about even until this day. And this kind of annoyed him, because Hyesung stayed mad at him – Eric was sure about this, after all the singer was more rejecting with him than usual and from time to time Eric noticed him looking at him with a frustrated expression, then he just turned away letting out a loud sigh as if he was saying ‘what an idiot’.

And Eric did not have the slightest idea what he did to deserve Shin Hyesung’s anger and so these days he thought he really must be an idiot.

‘Are you home’ No question mark, no anything else, only these three quite raw words came from the singer – and Eric’s loved one, whom he never dared to mention to his parents when they nagged him to get married - , still, this short messages made his heart flutter… just like kind of anything else Hyesung said or did.

He must be drunk or something – Eric thought as he replied to the text saying yes.

Moments later a new text from Hyesung followed Eric’s reply - ‘Come over if you want to.’

Eric lifted his eyebrows again – Hyesung seemed to be full of surprises these days -, he did not dare to believe in his own eyes and so he read the message for like a thousand times before with a wide grin he only texted ‘I’ll be over there in a minute’.

He felt like a dog that jumps only for a whistle, but he did not mind it this time.

At least he won’t be alone.

At least it’s Hyesung…

 

“Come in.” Hyesung said munching on a pack of chips as he opened the door for Eric.

“Hey, I’ve thought you are angry at me.” Eric entered Hyesung’s home, took off his shoes and followed the singer to the living room. “I don’t know why though.”

“You really are stupid, huh?” He replied tired. “Ah, I don’t care anymore. You are a complete waste of time and effort. So disappointing.”

“Don’t be rude.” Eric grumbled as he sat down onto Hyesung’s sofa and treated himself from a snack on the smoking table. “I can’t know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

He only received a smack on his head. “Just for you to know, you were the last person I’ve thought of when I was thinking about whom I should invite over.” Hyesung said in his usual way-too-proud-to-admit tone as he sat down, too, and reached for the remote control to find something watchable.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Eric replied and stuffed his mouth with snacks. “Anyway, you did not have anything for today?”

“I had. But it got defunct thanks to the weather.” He mumbled then he suddenly turned to Eric, his eyes were burning with rage and in an indignant tone he continued. “What is this even? What’s with the tons of snow?! It barely snowed like 1-2 days and then melted the whole winter, now the weather makes up for it or what?!”

“I know, I know.” Eric nodded and patted his shoulder as comforting. “My plans were messed up, too. I wanted to go over to my parents’, but they said I should not sit into a car now.”

“You still have public transport, you idiot.” Hyesung said looking at him from the corner of his eyes. Eric kind of got angry, the singer was like he got up on the wrong side of the bed. Anyway, Eric did not like the way he talked to him and did not plan to stay quiet.

“Same goes for you. But… Yah, don’t you think you talk to me quite disrespectfully these days? And anyway don’t you think you call me an idiot way too often?”

For a few moments both of them were silent, then Hyesung just sighed and said “Sorry.”

“Did something happen?” Eric asked honestly concerned after all the singer was surely weird. However, Hyesung only looked at him with a surprised expression.

“No?” He looked confused. “Why do you ask…?”

“You are weird.” Eric shrugged his shoulders. “I’m worried.”

Eric did not get the reaction he wanted – can it be anything. He was not really sure what he was waiting for, like Hyesung breaking down sobbing telling him his life story – though more or less he knew his life story -, or telling him there was nothing going on and it was only his fantasy playing tricks on him… as always.

But this was something he definitely did not except.

Because Shin Hyesung instead of crying or getting angry only threw his head back and laughed, laughed so hard his tears came out and Eric did not understand him at all. Did he say something funny? Or did his friend go mad? He was not sure. The only thing he knew was Hyesung giving him goosebumps and not in the pleasant meaning and Eric now was even more worried about his mental health.

“Really…” A few moments later Hyesung finally stopped laughing, wiped off his tears and still smiling and with shining eyes – Eric could not decide if it was because of the tears or something different – he said. “You just cannot be hated, can you?”

“Jung Pilgyo… did you go crazy? Should I call someone?”

“Idiot.” He mumbled under his nose, reached towards the table, took a bottle and filled two glasses – already prepared beforehand - and gave one of them to Eric. “Let’s just drink.”

“How much did you drink so far?”

“Oh just shut up and drink it while I say nicely.” He growled impatient and gently hit his shoulder when sat close to him so they could toast.

Both of them drank their own fill and Hyesung was already there again re-filling their glasses making Eric look at him worried and ask again: “No, seriously, how much did you drink so far?”

“Not enough... not enough.” Hyesung only replied and for a moment – but only for a really short moment that could have been overseen if Eric was not scanning Hyesung’s face closely – there was a trace of sadness in the singer’s eyes and this was like a sharp knife being slowly pushed into Eric’s heart. It hurt.

And this was the moment Eric was sure something was going on with his friend, something he did not tell anyone…

 

It was only a few minutes until midnight and so, the start of the New Year. Both of them drank quite a handful of alcohol, still, for some weird reason none of them were drunk, they were as sober as if they only drank water until now.

Everything Eric could feel was a weird excitement, no wonder. Hyesung was sitting close to him drinking from his glass from time to time, simply chatting about trivial things. Nothing important, they were just talking and laughing together and for Eric this was a time he was sure he is going to cherish until the rest of his life.

“It’s the new year soon.” Hyesung said after a long silence, while both of them just stared at the TV screen.

He was playing with his now empty glass, his cheeks were slightly flushed and his face was decorated with a pale smile and Eric thought Hyesung was beautiful. In the darkish room being lit by the weak light of the lamp and TV screen he looked like a sculpture carved with heartbreakingly strong love.

“Yeah.” Eric mumbled a reply trying not to make it too obvious he was staring at the singer.

“Do you have anything you wish will come true in the next year?” Asked Hyesung suddenly and this caused the leader have a blank mind.

Well, not exactly blank. He had many wishes, but for some reason all of them were related to Hyesung. He wished to spend more time with him – which will come true thanks to their comeback -, he wished to get closer, he wished for his smile and eyes to be only directed at him, he wished he had feelings for him, he wished to… He wished for Hyesung’s love.

In the end he just shrugged his shoulders and replied: “Successful promotions. And you?”

He rubbed his face – he looked tired -, looked up in the corner of his eyes thinking hard, then he shrugged his shoulders, too, and looking at Eric he replied “I guess the same. And I want us to be happy.”

“Well aren’t you a real saint…” Eric grinned teasing only to receive a hit on his shoulder.

“Should I bring champagne?” Hyesung asked and he was ready to stand up and go to the kitchen, but Eric waved him off..

“Nah, this” He pointed at the soju and beer. “is good enough.”

Hyesung did not reply, but sat back down onto the sofa and watched the time on the screen slowly counting down to midnight.

They heard the fireworks from outside, when Eric turned to Hyesung smiling, lifting his glass saying “Happy New Year Hyesungie~”.

Hyesung smiled back at him and lifted his glass to clink it with Eric’s also saying “Happy new Year”, but when their glasses touched something happened. They did not move from that position.

It was like as if time froze when their eyes met. There was something in the air, something between them and it reminded Eric of the scene in the studio during Christmas, when their noses accidentally touched.

It was the same, but this time it was enough for their gazes to met, to drown in each others’ eyes. Eric’s hand was trembling, he felt hot, his lips were dry and he could not look away, he did not want to look away.

He never realized when it happened, but he started to move towards Hyesung. He knew he should not do it, but he did not control his body anymore. However, what surprised him was Hyesung doing exactly the same. His expression was fogged and his face was coming closer and closer to Eric’s…

‘Ah, it must be my imagination…’ The sad thought came to him suddenly and like this he decided to just go with the flow, after all none of this was real. He just wanted to kiss Hyesung right at that moment and wait for coming back to his senses and realize he was actually at home all along and never was invited over by Hyesung.

But this is not what happened.

Suddenly the doorbell rang throwing off both of them, only to watch each other with widened eyes. They just sat like that and stare at the other as if they had committed (or almost committed) the biggest sin ever, then Hyesung just jumped up and ran to the entrance when they heard the bell again.

Eric was confused. Utterly confused. He was not sure if he was dreaming (being deep in sleep on his sofa) or this actually happened and there really was a spark between him and Hyesung. He was not sure Shin Hyesung actually silently agreed and leaned towards him for a kiss.

An almost kiss with Hyesung.

He did not know anymore what was going on and he felt uncomfortable. Should he believe in the atmosphere they had? Because that definitely was not the kind friends for 10+ have between and around them. Definitely not. That was so much more and Eric was not sure about it, or more like he did not dare to believe it.

However, he had no time to think. He heard familiar voices coming from the entrance and this kind of calmed him and he let out a relieved sigh.

He stood up and walked there only to see all the members entering with wide grins on their faces telling one by one and all at once how their plans were cancelled by the snow and they actually had a huge walk to Hyesung’s home as they met up at various places, even bought some food and drink from home to have a huge feast and drinking party.

Eric did not mind it at all. He was sure if Hyesung and him stayed alone everything would have been extremely awkward… with or without a kiss. He was grateful the members suddenly showed up and he was honestly happy he could spend this night with them – or at least this is how he felt until Lee Minwoo pulled out a mistletoe out of somewhere, held it above him and Hyesung and kissed him right on the lips… making Eric having his until so honest grin freeze onto his face.

  
The realization of the New Year’s kiss being stolen by Minwoo (and not him, even though he was so close to it) hit him hard.  
For the first time Eric Mun wished this was all just a bad dream and actually, he was home all along sleeping deeply on his sofa.


	9. Eric and avoidance

“Hyesungie is avoiding me.” Eric mumbled to himself and for quite some time now reality hit him hard.  
 

If there was anything weird that happened to him these days then it surely was reality because he figured, he came to that point imagination seemed to be more normal than his life itself without his visions.

And not only more normal but more enjoyable. After all, who would have liked Shin Hyesung not even looking at them instead of wrapping his arms around their neck while whispering loving words into their ears?  
Eric wanted to see that person for himself because there is no one in their right mind whom liked the reality this way.  
 

However, this once he wished he was actually imagining all of this. Yes, this one time he wished Hyesung avoiding him this obviously was actually all in his head and in reality their relationship was all the same – true, without romantic line but at least Hyesung would be beside him and not running away to the other side of the room once he noticed him.

Still, no matter how he waited for the bubble to pop out literally the whole day, it never happened, he never woke up and finally he realized everything was real.

Shin Hyesung was surely avoiding him.  
 

Well no wonder, he thought, after what happened during the New Years he had a hard time to figure out how he should act, after all there was surely something there between them that time when they were sitting on the sofa looking into each others’ eyes and everything just felt like eternity.

There was something and this bothered him, he did not understand a thing anymore, still, he pulled himself together and acted the way he usually did.

But Hyesung was weird from the point they first met after the holiday was over and a week had already passed since then.

And Hyesung still avoided him not even telling him a word. Because he literally did not say a word to him except for those times he had to tell him something. Most of the times though Eric felt just thin air next to him because Hyesung did not even spare him a glance if he did not have to. He did his best to keep at least 2-3 metres of distance and even when they had to stand closer to each other he did it as if he was asked to sit on the grill and get cooked.  
 

Anyway, it annoyed Eric to death and he could not believe the others did not notice it – all of the members acted perfectly normally, while he was screaming mentally whenever Hyesung just shook him off or turned his head away once their eyes met.  
 

Eric felt like going crazy and he wished he could just grab Hyesung and pull him out somewhere – it did not matter where, he just wanted a quiet place without eyes stuck on them – and ask him why he avoided him and if he said he did not he would have either kicked him or pushed him against the wall and asked again, just to be theatrical and for Hyesung to feel the seriousness of the matter and Eric’s upset feelings.

His next question would have been what was ‘ _that’_  on that certain day. Why he jumped up and opened the door just like that, why did he run away. Why he looked like he was freed from something bad or escaped from something tremendous, why was he relieved.

And more importantly: just why in the hell did he let Minwoo kiss him – this issue bothered him ever since then and jealousy dwelled up in his chest whenever Minwoo talked to Hyesung, stood close to him or anything similar.

Well, this avoidance problem was more important at that moment, though.

He had no idea how to resolve it – how could he do that when Hyesung did nothing else but run away from him?  
 

That day, too, for example. The moment he stepped into the practise room he saw Hyesung looking at him for a moment then immediately turning away and continue playing around with Junjin.

Also, he kept a weird two steps distance and this made Eric painfully uncomfortable. He just wanted to shout “why” at him and he needed all his energies to stop himself from actually doing it.

He did not speak at all to him, only replied if it was necessary, he did not laugh at him with that laugh of his Eric loved to death either. Actually, Eric felt like he became air for Hyesung and the sudden came aching in his heart took him by surprise.

Eric never would have guessed being ignored and avoided by him would hurt like this.  
 

By the end of the day he was awfully tired, both physically and mentally, mainly thanks to his hard work to make Hyesug communicate with him or at least look at him – though no matter how he looked at it… he was far from success.

In the end - with a sigh and with the plan of hurrying home and having a long, deep sleep and deal with the problem again the next day - he changed his clothes and put them away in his bag while mumbling to himself the juiciest curses he could address Shin Hyesung with.  
 

It seemed like his acting was not unnoticed, because soon Junjin walked up to him half-smiling, half-worried and while changing his clothes, too, he asked:

“Are you alright, hyung? You look stressed.”

Eric sighed. He did not want to say anything to be honest, but in the end he decided ‘to hell with it’ and blurted it out, “That damned Jung Pilgyo is being a pain.”

Junjin stopped his movements and looked at him surprised and curious, “What do you mean?”

“He has been ignoring and avoiding me since New Years’…” He mumbled and for a moment he thought maybe he should not have said that, he was worried Junjin would catch that weird tone in his voice and realize something happened between them. So he just cried out in frustration of not even being able to talk out his heart’s content properly and added, “I did not even do anything and he is being like this!”

Junjin stayed quiet for a few moments – making Eric go through hell while waiting and praying Junjin did not realize something was up -, then he just snorted, “What are you talking about… Hyesung hyung is the same as always…”

Eric’s mouth stayed open as he stared at Junjin, whom seemed to be completely calm as if there really was nothing going on.  
He did not dare to believe in his ears. Did the younger man seriously say that…?  
Eric wanted to shout at him ‘are you blind to not see the obvious??’ but he held himself back and replied:

“Park Choongjae, are you kidding me, Hyesung surely had been avoiding me.”

“No, he isn’t doing anything, hyung.” He shook his head with slightly widened eyes and with an offended look on his face as if he was accused for lying and this caught Eric’s attention. He knew not only this man but this certain expression quite well. “He is the same as always, you should stop worrying over such stupid matters.” He said then patted his shoulder and left.  
 

Eric felt as his whole body tensed, as his heart was beating like crazy and sweat rolled down on his temple. He was sure something was surely up but Junjin’s words made him uncertain…

And for the first time in his life Eric got worried if he was not able to distinguish delusion from reality…  
 

Then he just shook his head, he was certain his mind was more than healthy, there was not even a single problem with him and he could differentiate his imagination and actual happenings from each other way too well.

He felt like something was wrong, he kind of felt wronged and as he thought through his conversation with Junjin, as he evoked his acting and that certain expression he finnaly put the puzzle together and the realization hit him:

His fellow member just covered for the causer of his sufferings.  
 

And now he was sure he had been right all along and it was not just him whom noticed it but probably all the members were thinking the exact same thing:

Shin Hyesung avoiding him was as sure as the fact Eric was there living and breathing.


	10. Eric and blind date

Eric let out a huge sigh standing in front of a restaurant reading the name of it for about the tenth time.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this, especially now… I have better things to do. Like resolving my problem with Hyesung.” He mumbled, then annoyed scratched his head.

He really thought like that. Two weeks had passed and Hyesung was not only avoiding him, but he finally noticed the members’ discomfort and now he knew they saw the situation quite clear but decided to let Eric and Hyesung handle the matter themselves and tried to act as natural as possible.

Well, that was Eric’s goal: solve the problem. Not only because of himself and his love or because of Hyesung but he knew if they don’t clear things up it could jeopardize Shinhwa and he promised himself a long time ago he won’t let anything harm the band.  
Not even if it was his own heart.  
 

But then why was he there preparing himself to meet up with his blind date?

Good question and if anyone asked him that time he would have muttered only one name:  
Kim Dongwan.  
  
 

The day before when Eric arrived home and prepared himself to relax and forget about that horrible day and pain caused by Hyesung giving him the cold shoulder, he heard his doorbell’s sound and when he opened up there was standing Dongwan with an utterly disturbing smirk on his face which did not give a good feeling to Eric. Not at all.

Either way he let him in and that’s when the shorter man shoved two zoo tickets into his hands and said, “You are going on a blind date tomorrow.”

He found it weird why would Dongwan organize a blind date for him when he couldn’t even find his own match and let’s not mention how he never actually did something like this for Eric. He did not care that time though, he just declined it wholeheartedly, “No thanks, I don’t need it.”

“Oh yes, you do.” An evil smirk appeared on Dongwan’s face and Eric did not really like this expression. “You’ll go or else I’ll post not only the most embarrassing photos about you on the internet (and you can make me take them down, but trust me, our fans are fast), but will tell how you have the hots for Hyesung. Our fans will be happy.”  
 

Eric was just staring at Dongwan and was thinking  _‘when did this guy become so annoying and actually how long had he known about his feelings.’_

He neither wanted his pictures on the internet looking back at him nor his feelings being disclosed, after all the latter would surely harm Shinhwa and he promised that would never happen, so in the end he agreed letting out a burdened sigh.  
 

“Meet your blind date tomorrow at OO Restaurant. 12 PM. Don’t be late or else…” He gave him the ‘you-know-what’ wink. “The zoo tickets are for the date as well. Do not dare to leave after an hour, you have to do the whole day. I’ll text you the list of your activities. I’ll know if you did no go because I’ve booked tickets everywhere needed.” He said, waved at him and left.  
 

And this is how Kim Dongwan threatened Eric into attending a blind date.  
 

 

He sighed as he re-read the text message sent by Dongwan, it was going to be a long day…

However, it was time and he couldn’t be late. In the end he pulled himself together, collected his courage and stepped inside the restaurant. However, as he entered the building and was looking for the person, he had to face a problem, quite of a serious problem.  
 

The previous day Dongwan told him to look for someone who is wearing something red, so Eric did as he was told and looked for a lady in red, that’s when the problem occurred.

He did not find a single lady wearing a red shirt or hairpin or shoes, nay, there was not even a single person in the restaurant wearing anything of this colour.

Wait. That’s not true.

No one wore anything of the colour, except for one person sitting beside the window looking out with a cloudy expression.

Eric’s lips parted in surprise as he walked up to the person and after blinking a few, he shook his head and stared straight into the equally surprised brown gaze, he let out a shocked cry:  
 

“Hyesungie???”  
 

Shin Hyesung was wearing a red scarf around his neck – Eric did not see it on him before, he thought it must have been new, maybe bought for the occasion. He looked just the same shocked as Eric but he stayed seated and from his sitting he looked up at Eric waiting for him to explain what’s going on. However, Eric thought that can be told later, first, he wanted to know why he was there wearing something red, something that his date should be wearing.  
 

“What are you doing here?” He asked him then looked around again, still, not seeing anyone else with the same colour, so he just decided to take a sit in front of Hyesung so they won’t catch anyone’s eyes – even if they were actually sitting next to a huge window, being basically the subjects of window-shopping…

Hyesung seemed to be embarrassed, he looked outside again while two red dots appeared on his cheeks and like that he just mumbled through his pursed lips, “Blind date.”

“What?!” Eric was more surprised now and if the situation wasn’t suspicious until now, then this time he surely started to have bad feelings related to the matter.

“Why?? Can’t I have a blind date??” Hyesung attacked as he usually did when he was embarrassed, Eric was used to it so he just shook it off.

“No, it’s not that, but how…?”

Hyesung only rolled his eyes, “A while ago I’ve asked Dongwan about blind dating… as you’ve advised.” Eric furrowed his eyebrows, he did not really remember saying anything like that. “So he called me yesterday saying there is a blind date for me… he even made me wear something red so I could be found…” Hyesung sighed lifting his scarf not so amused then furrowing his eyebrows he added. “It was weird though, he did not tell me anything else, just to be in time and wait here.”

“So you just accepted?” Eric felt disillusioned. Was Hyesung really that desperate to find someone…?

“Of course not.” He rolled his eyes. “But that bastard threatened me with putting weird pictures about me on the internet…”

At this moment the realization hit Eric and he could not help but burst out in laughter, making Hyesung stare at him weirdly. “Hyesung-ah, I think we were set up by Kim Dongwan.”

“What do you mean?” Hyesung lifted his eyebrows, he clearly did not understand the leader.

“You see, I’m here for a blind date, too.” He leant onto the table supporting himself with his hands cupping his face. “I was told to look for someone who is wearing something red… The one who sent me is no one else but Kim Dongwan.”  
 

For a while Hyesung just stared at him trying to put everything together then as soon as the realization hit him as well his eyes went wild and a minute long curse series left his mouth.

Hyesung was shocked and it was understandable. However, Eric felt weird, he thought there was something else in those brown eyes than shock but he could not figure out what exactly. He just felt weird and he could not fight this feeling.  
 

After a few minutes of embarrassing silence Hyesung finally asked, “So you just accepted?”

“Of course not.” Eric mimicked Hyesung’s previous tone when he asked the same question. “He threatened me with putting weird pictures of me on the internet and…” He fell silent. He wanted to add ‘and he said he is going to announce my love for you’, but how exactly could he say that?

“And?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He waved it off. “Kim Dongwan set us up. We should just leave.”

Eric stood up with the plan of leaving even though the idea of a date with Hyesung was quite charming. However, Hyesung stayed seated and when Eric tried to leave he grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “Dongwan said we can’t leave or else he will upload the pictures.”

Eric waved it off again, “How would he know that…”

“He said we will have to take selcas as proof, also, he booked tickets…” Hyesung replied then his voice got lower and once he finished he just lowered his head as if he was embarrassed.  
 

No wonder. For Eric it felt like Hyesung was very much eager to actually do this blind date, even though he was sure it was the last thing he actually wanted in his life.

Or at least with Eric.

Didn’t he see that date list? Did Dongwan not send it to him? It was ridiculous to do all of those things together, though taking Eric’s feelings into account, he was kind of happy about it. Actually, he quite enjoyed this situation, he was only worried about Hyesung whose face he was unable to read.  
 

“Let’s have lunch then for the time being.” Eric mumbled in the end and sat back to his previous place, opposite of Hyesung.  
 

They ordered their meal and ate it silently. If Eric wanted to be honest he would have said the date so far was as horrible as possible, but then he just remembered they actually didn’t have to have a good date because of certain reasons.

For example how his feelings were one-sided and how they were actually forced to go on a date without knowing they will have to spend this time together.

Eric wanted to say he did not understand why Dongwan would do something like this but as soon as Hyesung told him what happened, everything kind of got together in his head and he realized what might be reason. The members of course knew something was up with him and Hyesung – not like it was Eric’s fault though or at least that’s what he thought, after all he had no idea what was Hyesung’s problem -, and this was their way to make them reconcile.

But again, it’s not like Eric had anything against it, it was Hyesung whom made trouble with acting the way he did, not even giving him an explanation.

Or at least talk it through because he was sure their almost-kiss that day was a cause, too.  
That definitely was something they should have talked about.  
 

After they finished eating, Eric took his phone out to have look at the list Dongwan had sent him (and probably Hyesung) about their tasks during their date. It still made Eric angry somehow, people aren’t usually told what to do during a date by a third person - it was just weird.  
 

_‘Here is your date list~ I’ve worked hard to choose the best locations, have fun.  
Make sure to send me proof~_

_Have delicious lunch at the place I’ve sent you to._

_At Seoul Grand Park enjoy watching the animals._

_At Times Square Mall do some shopping, watch a movie – whatever movie you want._

_Coex Aquarium, open until 8 pm, so make sure not to watch a too long movie or else you can’t go and pictures will be published~_

_Dongjak bridge cafe: Go to Gureum café open until 2am. Have a delicious dinner then you can head home. Do not forget, it’s polite to accompany your partner back home!!! Maybe you can even steal a kiss~_

_Oh, one more thing. If you miss a location, I’ll publish two pictures, so make sure to go everywhere~  
Two pictures per location~_

_P.S.: You’ll be grateful to me for this.’_

 

“Okay, so Hyesung-ah,” Eric said looking at the singer and the screen of his phone. “Here I have the list. The first one is having lunch, I guess we cleared that mission now.” Eric felt weird saying ‘mission’ but how else could he address it? “Do you want to go to the zoo now?”

“I don’t mind.” Hyesung shrugged. “Really though, zoo at our age…”

“I know.” Eric grimaced. “But it’s Dongwan’s idea… he probably wanted to mess with us, I bet he is having fun right now…” He signed the waiter he wanted to pay but Hyesung reached for his hand to stop him.

“Wait, we did not take a picture as proof!”

“Ah, you are right...” Eric mumbled troubled. “Sure, then let’s take a photo with the empty plates. Make an expression as if you were full.”  
 

They leant over the table and brought their faces closer to each others’ – making Eric’s heart skip a beat – and while making the plates visible they took the picture and immediately went back to their original places, just in time when the waiter appeared with the bill.  
 

“I’ll pay.” Eric waved off Hyesung who was in the process of taking out his wallet. “You can pay the next thing that needs to be paid for.”

“Su… sure.” Hyesung mumbled and put his wallet back to his pocket. He seemed to be kind of displeased…  
 

They left the restaurant but immediately faced the next problem: which car they should ride, Eric’s or Hyesung’s. Both of them wanted to ride their own cars, both of them wanted to drive and after ten minutes of arguing – something that’s rare on a date – Hyesung sighed and said, “Let’s just use yours. I just ask a driver to take my car home…”

 

Eric agreed though he knew it was a huge sacrifice from Hyesung considering how much he loved his car. They called for a driver and after about half an hour of waiting he appeared and after another ten minutes of Hyesung’s tutoring about his car, how it should be treated and where it should be taken and where his keys should be left, they finally departed from the parking lot with Eric’s car and headed to the zoo. However, for some reason the atmosphere was… heavy. Suddenly both of them had ran out of everything they could talk about, an uncomfortable and embarrassing silence had fallen onto them and they just sat quietly, Eric fixing his gaze on the road, while Hyesung just staring out of the window, both of them working hard to figure out something they could say to each other.

But there was nothing. Their minds were blank and so, the situation was anything but something that should be like a pleasant date.

It was like the hell itself.  
 

They literally sighed out of relief when they had arrived to the entrance of the zoo and entered. Suddenly they stepped into a different world, a different atmosphere and so they did not feel so stiff anymore, without noticing it they relaxed and became comfortable and the next moment they were already laughing together and could not stay quiet not even for a second.

They had forgotten about what this was all about and so, their embarrassment disappeared together with the wall between them and they only focused on having fun… with each other. Together.

 

After walking around for about an hour and taking photos with the animals and each other, they decided to have a rest for a while. Both of them were actually already tired, still, they knew they could not leave yet or else Kim Dongwan would have embarrassed them in front of everyone and they would have to listen to it until the rest of their lives.

Still, Eric could not get it out of his mind: Did Dongwan actually think this through? Is this actually a plausible date or will they die from tiredness in a few hours? It just felt too much and even though he did not mind spending the whole day with Hyesung, still, even he had his own limits and he was sure it was the same for Hyesung as well.  
 

“I think Dongwan is crazy.” Hyesung let out a sigh as he threw himself on a bench. “I’m dead tired, I want to go home.”

“I feel the same way.” Eric patted his shoulder understanding. “He is a real sadist when he has power in his hands.”

“We should set him up with Minwoo.” Hyesung grumbled, he definitely was thirsty for revenge.

Eric waved him off, “We have nothing we can hold against him. I mean… it’s Dongwan… everyone knows everything about him. We can’t threaten him.”

“Ah” He shook his head. “I really can’t stand him sometimes. Let’s just have some ice-cream.”

Eric furrowed his eyebrows, “In winter? Are you crazy?”

“Why?” Hyesung looked like he did not understand Eric’s language. “It’s indoors. I want to eat ice-cream. Isn’t that what people usually do when they come to the zoo?”

“No. People usually watch the animals and take photos when they come to the zoo.”

Hyesung waved, “Whatever, let’s go. I pay.”

“Sure!” Eric rolled his eyes. “Let’s just go then.”

  
 

They walked a few minutes till they reached the place, entered the small building that, even though it was winter, was filled with families and couples.

They felt embarrassed as they looked over the crowd because no matter how they looked at it, Eric and Hyesung were two adult men unlike the families or couples sitting at the pastry shop. They stood out of the crowd quite well and for a moment both of them started to worry: what if someone recognizes them?

They could listen to the fans, to the members (except for Dongwan, he would have a definitely enjoyable time), to the reporters about there private outing together and they could do nothing but explain themselves.

That would be a pain.  
 

However, Eric wanted Hyesung to have a good time. He wanted to have ice-cream with him, sure, it was winter, still, it was a kind of couple-ish thing and this idea again caressed his heart.

Doing couple-ish things with Hyesung sounded like Heaven itself and even though he was quite annoyed with Dongwan, at the same time he was actually grateful to him. After all without him Eric doubted he would be here with Hyesung or anywhere outside the recording studio or their apartment building.

He even doubted they would actually talk normally like this without Dongwan’s quite extreme move.

In the end Eric dared to risk a sore-throat for this.  
 

They bought their ice-creams and sat down to an empty and well-hidden corner, still, they made sure to wear their hats and sunglasses properly, none of them wanted to be recognized by fans… none of them wanted to be bothered.  
 

Anyway, for Eric, sunglasses definitely held some benefits besides not getting recognized by others, which was:  
Because his sunglasses were dark and his eyes couldn’t been seen he could look anywhere. And where else he would look at if not Hyesung?

Though it might have been a mistake because as he was watching him eating his ice-cream, seeing his tongue, his overjoyed expression he could feel something weird going on inside himself and he had to turn his head away before something inevitable happened to him… and his body.  
 

“It’s delicious.” Hyesung said smiling and then pointed with his head to Eric’s, “Aren’t you eating it?”

Eric only shook his head and pushed the calyx towards Hyesung, “Nah, I kind of lost my appetite…” Hyesung wore a confused expression, “You can eat it if you want.”  
 

Hyesung stared at him for a few moments then he just shrugged, took Eric’s ice-cream and after he finished his he continued eating.  
 

If Eric wanted to be honest he would have said Hyesung was extremely cute. And sexy. Both at the same time.

While he gave off a cute aura as he licked off the ice-cream from the spoon at the same time the way that very same tongue moved on that spoon caused Eric’s insides cringe and again, red light went off in his head and he had to turn away.

 _Shin Hyesung drives me crazy_ , he noted to himself as sighed giving up.  
 

Soon Hyesung ate up Eric’s share as well and when he looked at him to say they should move on or else they won’t have time for the other places and Dongwan is going to mess with them, words could not get through his pursed lips seeing the corner of Hyesung’s mouth having remains of ice-cream on it which the man obviously wasn’t aware of.  
 

Without realizing what he was doing or before he could have said a word about it, he leant towards Hyesung, wiped off the ice-cream and licked it from his thumb then sat back as if nothing had happened.

For a few moments he was just watching Hyesung’s flushed expression who was staring a hole into him then it finally hit him what happened causing him turning flustered, his cheeks were on fire while he stuttered:  
 

“Ice-cream… there was some…”

“Ah, I see…” Hyesung nodded rubbing his nape then cleared his throat and said, “We better go.”  
 

Eric nodded. Today this might have been the very first good idea of Hyesung’s.  
 

“Oh, wait,” He mumbled after they left the shop, “We need to take a photo.”

“True.” Eric scratched his head as he took out his phone. “Come here.”  
 

Hyesung did as he was told and stepped next to Eric and leant slightly closer so he could fit in the picture; Eric couldn’t not notice his cheeks turning slightly red and he could not stop himself from smiling.  
 _Stop being cute, stop being embarrassed_ , he thought,  _stop seducing me unintentionally, stop it when it’s not your feelings but your discomfort_ …  
 

 

Time Square Mall was crowded with people as usual. Eric was worried they are going to be recognized and as he looked at Hyesung from the corner of his eyes he figured the singer must have felt the same way.

It’s no good, he thought, Dongwan is simply terrible in choosing date places.  
 

Who would choose a place like a mall for two celebrities for a date, let alone two men, let alone two members? Let alone this whole situation?  
Eric thought Dongwan must be crazy and he promised himself to have a word or two with him as soon as he was over this.

Ending though… it was quite far and even though he should have enjoyed their so-called date – which was entirely forced – instead he was just suffering and could not wait for this day to end.  
 

Eric sighed. He seemed to be sighing quite a lot that day and he was not surprised. This is not how he imagined a date with Hyesung, it was terrible from the beginning, it just did not feel right.

Of course not. It’s not like we want to be here, he noted in himself, let’s not consider myself but I bet Hyesung would rather be anywhere with anyone more than here with me.  
 

“I want to buy pants.” He suddenly heard Hyesung’s voice which threw off his thinking session and when he turned to him he saw the singer eye-ing a shop. “Let’s go in there, it seems to be okay. Also, there aren’t many people inside.”

“Su…sure.” Eric nodded and followed Hyesung whom was already a few steps before him and Eric wondered if he would notice it if they just separated…  
 

That moment suddenly a weird feeling appeared in his heart when the idea popped up in his mind. It was a cold, lonely feeling and he honestly wanted to spare himself from any of this, still, his legs just stopped and all he did was watching Hyesung’s back getting further away and disappearing behind the door of the shop.  
 

He knew he was acting stupid and what he was doing wasn’t one of his best ideas ever. Still, his curiosity was quite strong despite those feelings ripping apart his heart that moment. He wanted to know how long it would take Hyesung to realize he was left on his own, he wanted to know what kind of reaction he would have, if he would look for him or would just send him a message cursing at him.

He was just curious how he would react if Eric wasn’t there…

And the fact he did not have high hopes for any kind of positive outcome made him wanting to kick himself in the butt.  
 

He turned his back to the shop but it did not take him two steps to feel a huge hit on his back causing him to lean forward and cough hard from the sudden came lack of breath resulted by the beating.  
 

“Yah” Hyesung boxed him in the stomach when Eric turned to him and saw quite a furious expression, “Just where exactly are you going?!”

“Ah I just…”

“Don’t leave me behind, will you?” Hyesung sighed and again, two red dots appeared on his cheeks causing Eric to drift towards madness even more, “It’s scary to have you beside me then a moment later you are nowhere to be seen…”

“Sorry.” Eric mumbled, he felt like his mother scolded him for wandering off.  
 

While he should have been annoyed for being scolded by Hyesung, somehow he was happy. Seeing this reaction made him happy, it caused his heart pounding and he wished he could just reach out to him and pull him onto his chest and tell him how he should not be worried because he won’t ever leave his side. Even if it sounded extremely corny.  
 

“Anyway,” Hyesung mumbled and he was wearing an apologetic expression, “if you don’t want to shop then tell me. We can just… watch a movie then.”  
 

Eric did not say anything but just followed Hyesung. His heart was overwhelmed by all kinds of tingling feelings.  
 

 

They were already halfway through the movie when Eric thought this might have been another bad idea.

Realizing that night was horror night and only that genre was played in the cinema… they should have just turned around and leave, he should not have listened to Hyesung saying ‘it’s okay’, waving off everything and deciding to watch the newest one.

Being halfway through the movie Eric realized it, feeling his hand ready to fall off from Hyesung’s tight clasp around it.

Hyesung’s trembling hand holding onto Eric’s was anything but romantic no matter how much this idea was living in someone’s mind. A person who is scared generates such power which now was ready to break Eric’s fingers. No, he did not really enjoy it even though Hyesung was holding onto his hand by himself, by his own will.

It was definitely not enjoyable and in the end Eric could not wait for the movie to end.  
 

At the same time though, he was worried about Hyesung. While he tried to act as if there was nothing wrong putting on a straight face, his fingers carving themselves into Eric’s skin whenever a jump scare or something happened gave him away.

In his eyes fear was shining as well and as more blood was splattering around in the movie the more his face turned white, Eric could see it even in the dark.  
 

“Eric…” He heard his whispering and his grip turned stronger, “Let’s go out.”

Eric turned to him worried, “Are you alright?”

Hyesung waved as if it was nothing but said, “If I don’t get out of here… I feel like I’m going to puke.”  
 

 _Ah_ , Eric thought,  _so the bloody scenes had their effect finally._

That was a new side of Hyesung’s and he was glad to be an eyewitness even if he felt bad for the singer.

  
 

“I shouldn’t have insisted on watching that movie.” Eric said as he touched Hyesung’s nape with a cold bottle of water he just bought from a vending machine.  
 

They left the room about ten minutes ago, since then Hyesung was sitting on a bench, his head leant on his knees while taking deep breaths. After a while Eric decided it would be better if he drank something so he left to buy some water.  
 

“It’s okay.” Hyesung groaned, took the water and drank almost half of it. “This is so weird, I never get sick from scenes like… that.” He shivered even just thinking about it. “But honestly, this movie was sick, it was… terrible.”

“I got to agree on this.” Eric sat down next to him, reached to his back and patted it a few times before he started to gently caress it, trying to make him feel better. “Are you okay now?”

“Yeah.” He replied and drank some more. “I swear, I’m never watching horror movies ever again.”

“You never liked them to begin with.” Eric said smiling, “You should have just rejected the idea when we were told it’s horror night tonight.”

Hyesung just shrugged, “You seemed like you wanted to watch it.”

“Yeah, but” He lifted his arm showing the red and blue dots on it, “not on this price.”

Hyesung’s eyes went wide as he grabbed Eric’s arm and pulled it to himself to have a look at it, then he just stuttered shocked, “Did I… did I do… this?!”

Eric lifted his eyebrows, “You didn’t even notice?”

“No way!” Hyesung pushed his hand away embarrassed, “Would I hold your hand if I was perfectly conscious?!”

“Yeah, you are saying something.” Eric grumbled bitterly. “Anyway, if you are better then we can go to the next stop.”

“We need to take a picture first.”

“Yeah I know.” Eric said as he took out his phone but then a new idea appeared in his mind, “I saw a photo boot on my way back from the vending machine. How about taking a picture there?”

“Sure.” Hyesung shrugged, his face was still slightly pale “As long as we have a picture.”  
 

If there is a word Eric could describe the photo boot was stuffy, smaller than usual. That place was immediately filled up completely as soon as him and Hyesung got in there and they had to snuggle up to each other to be able to take the picture properly, to be able to be in the frame both of them.

Eric’s heart was pounding realizing his situation: his arms around Hyesung whose arms were wrapped around his neck and chest, their faces were so close that rarely happened. His heart was beating so fast he heard it in his ears and he was scared Hyesung could hear it as well.  
 

“Yah, let’s take the picture quickly!” Hyesung grumbled and Eric found it amusing how even his ears were red now compared to his previous pale complexion. He was embarrassed and it was cute.  
 

Unconsciously Eric’s hug tightened around him causing him to get closer and both of them jumped a bit by this. It was a slightly uncomfortable and embarrassing situation; Eric could feel how tense the atmosphere was around them.  
 

“Let’s take it already.” Hyesung mumbled, his voice sounded weak and so soft shivers ran down on Eric’s spine.  
 

He did as Hyesung told him. He felt weird, his mind was blank and Hyesung’s scent lingering around him made his brain drunk…

  
 

The aquarium had a weird atmosphere when they stepped in. There weren’t many people around, most of them were couples and so, there was a romantic, loving feeling in the air causing Eric’s heart to beat fast again.

Suddenly having Hyesung beside himself made him tense, he became conscious of themselves. His mouth turned dry and he had to clear his throat because he felt like there was a lump in there.  
 

“Let’s go.” Hyesung mumbled and did not even wait for Eric’s answer but moved forward.  
 

Eric followed him and soon he forgot about his discomfort, more like as if he accepted and made this atmosphere his own, as if he became one with it and not just him but Hyesung as well. He looked more comfortable compared to their first meeting in the morning, nay, seemed like the atmosphere had entered his body causing his cheeks to burn up and his eyes have a gentle gleam in them.  
 

Closely, next to each other they walked around in the aquarium, being swept off their feet by the sight and the feeling lingering around them. It made his head drunk and could not think at all, his mind was filled with Hyesung walking right next to him, so close he did not even need to reach out to hold his hand… their shoulders were brushing against each other from time to time and whenever it happened Eric felt like the feeling like electricity ran through his body.

But he did not pull away neither did Hyesung and that caused weird things happen in his chest. He started to become bolder and sometimes he purposely brushed against Hyesung and purposely touched his hand acting as if it was by accident.

Hyesung never pulled away but only his cheeks got redder, Eric saw it well from the corner of his eyes and this gave him a weird sense of hope in his heart.  
 

Hyesung’s touch on his hand threw off his daze as he grabbed it and pulled him towards a huge tank wearing a mesmerized expression. But Eric did not care about it neither he did about the fish or the beautiful decoration. All he cared about was Hyesung’s warm fingers clasping with his and how he thought his heart was going to jump out any moment.  
 

They just stood there before the monstrous tank, feeling so small like an ant, holding each others’ hand and Eric was sure Hyesung forgot about himself thanks to the sight. However, when Eric clasped his fingers with his as well he felt it as a slight trembling ran through Hyesung’s body and he knew Hyesung finally realized his situation.

He did not pull away though or did he curse at him and by this Eric turned braver and tightened his grip, his heart, which was overflowing with all kinds of feelings, was pounding.  
 

“Let’s take a picture here.” Eric said but his voice was weird. “The background is good.”

“Sure.” Hyesung mumbled as a reply and stepped closer to Eric so he could fit in the frame.  
 

Eric let go of Hyesung’s hand which he pulled back shyly, instead Eric wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him onto his chest. Hyesung did not resist, did not argue and he did not even grumble annoyed under his nose. His ears turned red but he did not even say a single word and that moment Eric sensed his feelings might have reached Hyesung’s heart.

He leant his head onto Hyesung’s and he felt as he held back his breath for a moment then let it out in a trembling sigh.

Like that, they took their very first  _couple_  photo…

  
 

The café was nicely lit and a sweet melody was playing, putting Eric’s heart at ease. Until then it was pounding and pounding but now it finally took back its normal rhythm and just enjoyed the night scenery of the lights dancing on the surface of Han River.  
 

But despite the beautiful view from time to time his eyes wandered off to Hyesung sitting in front of him whom seemed to be just the same fascinated by the sight, true, both by different causes – Hyesung by the river and Eric by Hyesung, his pinkish cheeks and gleaming eyes. Eric thought that moment he was so much prettier than the river and the lights dancing on it.  
 

They were after having a delicious meal and they took a photo about it just like they did in the morning when they realized they are going to be each others’ blind date, when they figured Kim Dongwan managed to prank both of them.  
While that time they were both shocked but now as they were calmly sipping their coffee Eric thought otherwise, he thought maybe this was a rather good move from Dongwan and all in all this was actually a pretty nice day.

In the end he enjoyed their so-called date and as he watched Hyesung’s calm expression he figured he might think the same way.  
 

“It’s pretty.” Hyesung mumbled not tearing away his gaze from the river. “It really is a good date spot.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty indeed.” Eric replied on a soft tone then tore his gaze away from Hyesung’s face and looked at the river. “In the end Dongwan is not that bad in planning dates as we thought.”

Hyesung chuckled and finally looked at Eric: his eyes were gentle, Eric was almost felt being caressed by that gaze, “Let’s not give him too much confidence though. The other places were pretty much a failure.”

Eric shrugged and grinning he mumbled, “Well, if someone can’t watch horror movies…”

Hyesung’s cheeks reddened, “Yah, it’s not my fault these days these movies are so disgusting…” He shook his head with closed eyes, he wore a disgusted expression, “I can’t see how anyone could like such things… But” He lifted his hand to emphasize, “not just that. Like in this weather who would go to the zoo? And anyway in our age…”

“Why, what do you think that would fit our age?” He lifted his eyebrow though he was actually agreeing with Hyesung, “A hotel?”

Hyesung’s eyes widened, he gaped then lifted his fist in the air, “Are you stupid? Stop being so nasty!”

“Sure, sure.” Eric waved him off, “Let’s say the zoo was a failure, same goes for the mall. But you seemed to be enjoying yourself in the aquarium.”

For a moment he stayed quiet, then Hyesung shifted his gaze and on a low tone he replied, “Yeah, the aquarium was quite okay.”

“I guess we can agree on the last two places were okay, everything else” Including their meal earlier he added mentally, “was a… failure.”

“Yeah, something like that.”  
 

Hyesung did not look up. His eyes were fixed on his hands on the table and he seemed quite occupied with playing with his fingers. However Eric couldn’t not notice how even his ears were red and he had to smile to himself. He knew that moment Hyesung was thinking about holding each others’ hands in the aquarium and not letting it go until they arrived to the coffee. He was thinking about the photo they took and how close they were and how they leant their hands on each other.

He knew he was thinking about these because Eric did so as well.

He was thinking about how happy he was.  
 

After they left the cafe silence had fallen onto them. Eric felt the tension between them and his heart was trembling from it. Still, this trembling could not stop him from boldly reaching out his hand to Hyesung and the relief, like a monstrous wave washed through him when Hyesung reached out to him as well and clasped his fingers with Eric’s.

Instead of going to the car they just walked around next to the riverside even though it never was included in Dongwan’s date plans. But they did not care neither they remembered about anything Dongwan ever told them.

Hand in hand close next to each other they were walking, the chilly night breeze hitting their faces, still, it did not bother them because the others’ warm hand seemed to warm up their bodies as well.

They were just walking together being fascinated by the lights of the city that reflected on the river and wished the night would never end now that their feelings reached each others’ hearts…  
 

 

As Dongwan said, ‘it’s polite to walk home your partner’, Eric did like that. Though it’s not like it was a bypass for him, still, he got into the elevator with Hyesung, silently walked him to his door and waited for him to open it.

They were both silent, they were both embarrassed and flustered. But even like this they never let go of each others’ hands but only when they arrived to Hyesung’s door.  
 

It felt weird. They did not say a word, they never told why they were holding hands even though they were kind of well aware of it or so that’s what Eric thought. But they never actually said it out loud and even like this it felt so… natural.  
 

“Just go in.” Eric said on a soft tone smiling. “Sleep well, Pilgyo-yah.”

Hyesung nodded, “You, too, sleep well.”  
 

Eric turned around and took a few steps then stopped. He felt confused. This is it? Just saying ‘hi’ and that’s all? Aren’t they going to talk about what happened today between them, like why were they frickin’ holding hands during the whole evening?

Not like Eric was any better after it was him who acted that way first and he could see a slight disappointment on Hyesung’s face. He admitted he was a coward. He did not dare to have anything more, he was scared it was  _all an illusion_  and the next moment he would wake up in his bed realizing it was all a dream. That would have hurt more than just walking away after such nice day.

But at the same time it all bothered him. What if this is all real no matter how it all felt like a dream, what if it’s real and everything really did happen and now he was on the right way of messing things up beyond help?  
 

His legs did not work. They refused to move and he was just standing there while his brain was working as if there was no tomorrow. In a sense there really wasn’t if he messed up, together with Hyesung this way, having such sensual feelings around them and holding hands like that… there really might not be tomorrow.  
 

However, seems like it was not only him whom thought this way. After the few steps he took and stopped all his movements, soon he felt a grip on his wrist that pulled him back and Eric could not do anything else but turn around only to face Hyesung wearing a desperate expression, his cheeks flushed, his eyes having a begging glint in them.

Eric’s mouth went dry, his lower lip was trembling as he was just staring into Hyesung’s eyes and him looking back at him. They did not talk, still, after so many years they came to the point of being able to read each others’ minds. And Eric did so, he read his mind and there was no need for any more thinking or words.

He stepped towards Hyesung while pulled him onto his chest, he closed him up among his arms and pushed his lips against Hyesung’s, seriously, for the very first time.

Eric felt like as if fireworks were launched in his chest, he was just kissing and kissing Hyesung, he could not get enough from his lips.  
 

They slowly backed into Hyesung’s apartment, stumbled through the hallway as they slowly get rid off their clothes only leaving their pants and once they arrived to the bedroom they fell onto it, making sure not to let go of each other not even for a moment, neither stop kissing.

They were hugging each other passionately as if they were holding onto their lives and in a sense it was true. They felt like the other was their life that moment.

Eric pulled away from Hyesung’s lips and kissed his jawline then slid to his neck and finally did what he had always wished he could do: gently bit Hyesung’s neck and hearing the singer’s low moan he turned bolder and licked the place where he bit him a moment ago, sucked on it, while his hand wandered off on his chest, caressing his nipple, then on his stomach to his groin and as he touched Hyesung  _there_  his body stiffened.  
 

“Is it alright?” Eric asked discouraged, he did not want to do anything that made Hyesung feel bad.

“I was just surprised.” He muttered and shifted his gaze embarrassed. Then he nodded and closed his eyes as Eric touched him again, gently massaged his awakening manhood through his pants, then slid his hand between his thighs and opening them up he positioned himself between them.  
 

He leant back to Hyesung’s lips to kiss him while he caressed his cheek with one of his hands and he rubbed himself against Hyesung’s, feeling his erection and making him feel his.

Hyesung moaned against Eric’s mouth as he wrapped his arms around his necks and slightly pushed himself against him…  
 

“Eric…” He heard his voice and he moved his hips faster, rubbed himself against him stronger.

_“Eric…”_

“Yes?” He pulled back to look at him.  
 

However, Hyesung was looking at him with gleaming eyes and flushed cheeks, panting and he did not look like he wanted to say anything.  
 

 _“Eric…?”_  
 

Eric’s eyes went wide hearing Hyesung calling out to him but seeing the actual person’s mouth not moving at all. He was just smirking and suddenly a sarcastic expression had appeared on his face.

An ominous feeling struck into Eric’s chest and his very first thought was ‘ _don’t tell me…’_

  
 

“Yah, Eric, are you here at all?!”  
 

It was the restaurant from the morning. Eric was sitting at the place he did and Hyesung in front of him, just like before. He was wearing a rather displeased expression and seeing him holding onto his glass filled with water Eric was sure he was ready to pour it on him.  
 

Eric wished he really did it. He thought he certainly needed that glass of water being poured at him, nay, he thought he might just stand up, run till Han River and throw himself in so he would not suffer from all these torturing feelings that flooded his chest that moment.

The pain, the regret, the wish for everything to be real… they all, all were biting into his heart, making it impossible not wanting to headbutt the table.  
 

 _My imagination knows no boundaries and honestly this is getting scary,_ he noted to himself sighing then he looked down to his upper part to see if he was alright there. Fortunately, no ‘accidents’ happened due to his ‘daydream’ he just had, though he had to scoff… imagining a whole day, imagining the dates and mentally bringing Hyesung home and almost having the time of his life… can that be called a daydream?

 _It’s more like a disease;_ he thought and figured he might as well see a doctor soon if these hallucinations don’t stop at once.  
 

“Eric, will you finally talk to me?” Hyesung said annoyed and when Eric looked back at him again there was a glint of worry in his eyes and Eric felt apologetic.

“Ah yeah, Sorry.”  
 

 _I’m sorry you have to spend time with such a useless person like me who almost just screwed you in his head,_  he continued mentally.  
 

“What’s up with you…” Hyesung grumbled, “You’ve been spacing out a lot lately.  
 

 _And whose fault do you think this is…_  
 

“I have a lot in mind, that’s all.” Eric mumbled and looked before himself. Oh, so they were still just eating the food they ordered. Great. The day is going to be long…  
 

They continued eating in silence and compared to what Eric was going to have in his ‘daydream’ suddenly this felt like torture though before even such a thing like this felt like a bliss. Now that he tasted good things… he became irritated with what was actually normal.  
 

He honestly wanted to stand up and leave. He did not care about Dongwan’s threats or the living-breathing Hyesung before himself. His heart was too much in pain to just sit around and then re-do this day with all the dates and having reminded of what happened in his head and how reality is going to be different.

He just wanted to go home, ease his ‘pent up feelings’ and then have a long sleep while working hard to forget about everything.  
 

However, before he could have said ‘yah, Hyesung-ah, those pictures can’t be that bad, let’s just go home’ he heard Hyesung putting down his spoon, then he let out a troubled sigh and looked at Eric wearing a serious expression. Eric couldn’t not notice that weird glint of fear in his eyes.  
 

“In the end I can’t do this.” Hyesung mumbled and his words made Eric’s chest feel funny.

“What are you talking about?”

“Right, what I’m talking about…” He chuckled but he did not look like he was having much fun. “I should tell, right? It would be better.”

“Hyesung…?”

“Sure, I knew I’ll have to get through this anyway, this is the perfect moment.” He stretched his arms then put them onto the table and continued talking as he was playing with a napkin, “I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise me you’ll listen to me from the beginning to the end and won’t interrupt me.” Eric nodded and accompanied with another sigh he continued, “You might have noticed I’ve been acting weird these days…” Eric was nodding furiously only resulting a glare.

“What, I did not say anything…”

Hyesung only shook his head rolling his eyes, “Anyway, it all has a reason and I’m just so dumbfounded you are so dense.”

“You…”

Hyesung did not let Eric to talk but continued, his speech suddenly turned faster as if he was forcing himself and talking fast meant being through with it quicker, “Everything is your fault you know. I’ve been giving you signs for so long I can’t even remember but you just won’t notice no matter what I do. And you’ve been insensitive as well. And I was so angry with you but I’ve thought it was all stupid so I wanted to make up with you and then that happened and I was confused and had no idea what to do. But then I’ve thought I’ll just go through with this date but in the end it’s impossible so…”

“Hyesung!” Eric interrupted him holding up his arms, “What the hell are you trying to tell me?!”

“Just that” His words were loud but his voice eventually got softer, “I like you.” He mumbled, “I quite like you if you want to know.”  
 

Eric was only staring at Hyesung’s flushed face and he did not dare to believe in his ears. Did he mishear it? Or was it another daydream?

He pinched his arm but it did not work, he was still there sitting in the restaurant staring at Hyesung’s redder by time face and he did not dare to believe what he just heard.  
 

“What…”

“I mean,” He muttered, “I was clearly giving you signs. Like, when you came over for a shower I invited you for ramyun. And and then… then… when you were acting with Yoomi I went there… I was pretty irritated by that that’s why I went to see to make sure you two aren’t… And I even went on a date with you, true, you messed up the whole thing being late and all making me wait for you for so long I’ve thought my hands are going to freeze and I could not even watch the movie even though I really wanted to see it.” His breathing and voice turned shaky, “And I even let you be with me when I was sick even though I pretty much felt like I’m on my deathbed. I wanted you to be there… it made me happy when you came. But then you are such a bad bastard.”

“Yah, Jung Pilgyo…”

“Because no matter what I did or what I said, no matter my signs…” His eyes seemed to be teary, “You just did not get it. And you were so insensitive. And I’ve thought there is nothing to do, I have to say it clearly or else you won’t get it. I wanted to say it when I went to the recording studio during Christmas. I really wanted to tell you that time, I was preparing for it for so long…” He let out a pained sigh, “But then you just said ‘ask Dongwan to set you up with someone’ and I got so angry because I was so hurt I actually really did ask Dongwan for a blind date, I guess this was what gave him the idea to set us up this way…”  
 

_Oh, oh, oh._

Memories of everything Hyesung talked about slowly flow into Eric’s mind and only then it hit him how everything Hyesung told him actually made sense.

Now that he talked about it somehow it was clear. Accidentally making two servings of ramyun? No way. And he never once came to his filming before. And he remembered that aching pain when he was late and saw how Hyesung was almost frozen and how he saw the unused tickets, he remembered feeling weird about it and he could not believe him, a real fox, did not actually catch the scent of the situation.

And he only remembered now that annoyed sentence he told Hyesung about blind dates and he just wanted to let out a desperate laughter – he did not think it seriously. Not at all. He was just angry because Hyesung was all over finding a girlfriend… Oh, he mentally hit his forehead. So that’s why he talked so weirdly… but then he was just too occupied to actually catch his words and understand them properly.

Eric felt like an idiot, he really was but at the same time he just wanted to yell at Hyesung, ‘don’t give me such useless signs just tell me straight for god’s sake!’.  
 

“I’m not joking Junghyuk, I was really angry at you because you are just such a… grr…” He made strangling gestures on the napkin. “I wanted to kill you. But you see it made me rethink everything. It made me think ‘maybe it’s better this way’ and I just wanted to give up. I’ve thought breaking our friendship, not talking to you, making everyone worried… I can’t do it and in the end it’s better to just give up on my feelings. That’s why I went over during New Years’, to make up and finally let go of my feelings and go on any blind date Dognwan organizes for me. But then that happened.”  
 

 _The almost-kiss_ , Eric nodded.  
 

“And I got so confused.” Hyesung shifted his gaze to his hands playing with the napkin, “I was scared you found me weird and at the same time I was angry at myself because in the end I’ve done something so stupid and could not let go of my feelings. I could not look at you or stay next to you, that’s why I’ve avoided you if you’ve noticed…”

“I clearly noticed.” Eric grumbled and with his words Hyesung’s cheeks flushed in an instant.

“Just how was I supposed to react?” He cried out, “You’ve been terrible and you are spacing out a lot and anyway you acted perfectly normal, only I was so flustered. I had no idea what to do and I think this is why Dongwan set us up this way, to clear things up and I…” Hyesung rubbed his face troubled, “I just really like you, Junghyuk-ah, and I really wanted to give up on my feelings with today’s date but I can’t and it must be terrible to hear it but I just can’t keep it to myself anymore…”  
 

So he did not misunderstand it, that’s what was echoing in Eric’s head that moment. Suddenly, listening to Hyesung, somehow everything just made sense finally. The reason he got so angry during Christmas and why he avoided him after New Years’. And his words or actions that made his heart race but did not really understand them or more like did not really dare to believe them.

Everything just made sense and Eric had to lean on the table suddenly losing all his strength. He felt his cheeks were burning up as Hyesung’s words echoed in his mind.  
 

 _I quite like you… I like you…_  
 

He had to hide his head under his arms, he was so embarrassed and at the same time he felt so stupid. So many things happened between them and they were this stupid not realizing what actually was going on?  
He wanted to laugh and cry at themselves at the same time. They were just ridiculous… a real couple, perfectly matching.  
 

Eric reached out to Hyesung’s hand and touched it while he was still hiding his face under the other one and said:

“Please, wait a bit more with that giving up part…”

“What do you mean…”

“I’m telling you,” He tried to talk louder so Hyesung could hear him properly from under his hand but it was hard, he felt shy as if he suddenly turned into a young boy, “don’t give up because I quite like you as well.”  
 

Silence, a very long silence. Eric was waiting and waiting but in the end he could not bear with it anymore and looked up only to see Hyesung staring at him with a blank expression as if his brain just stopped.

But even like this slowly he closed and opened his eyes and moved his lips:

“Really?” His voice was trembling.

“I’m telling you.” Eric grumbled, “I’ve been spacing out lately because I was having all kinds of day-dreams about you and me. If you want to know even nasty ones.” He smiled to himself finally getting a normal reaction out of Hyesung with his glaring, “I love you. That’s why don’t give up on your feelings and me, don’t say such heart-breaking things...”  
 

They both fell silent again but this quietness wasn’t so heavy anymore. It was for both of them putting everything together in their heads, to deal with their feelings, to get over their shock and finally accept everything in.  
 

“Really…” Hyesung looked like as if a huge weight was taken off of his shoulder, he lifted one of his hands to his mouth and let out a trembling sigh, “I’m… glad. So glad.”  
 

Eric leant his head back onto the table and could not help but smile to himself while strengthening his grip around Hyesung’s hand.  
 

Hyesung smiled back at him brightly, his cheeks red and his eyes gleaming and Eric’s heart skipped a beat.

This is only when he realized what a fool he actually had been…

He was running after his illusions and he wished everything he dreamed about would come true while the real thing had always been right before his nose. He was chasing that Hyesung from his mind while the real person in front of him was much more precious than the other one, the fake one.

He realized it.

No matter how the fantasy world could give him anything he ever wanted, he could give him shy Hyesung and lewd Hyesung or anything…

…In the end only the real person could give him a smile that makes his heart pound so much it hurt his chest.  
 

And Eric finally knew. It took him quite a long time but he finally learnt his lesson.

He should live in reality instead of his tiny fantasy world because reality is at least his while fantasy is just a foggy dream flowing through his fingers. Something that will never come true but only in his head.  
 

In the end, he had to admit as he looked into Hyesung’s loving eyes, reality was still the best.

The best thing that could happen to him.

 

 

 

 

 

_The End_


	11. Epilogue

Minwoo and Dongwan let out a loud sigh as they left the airport and watched Eric’s and Hyesung’s backs getting further and further away, then sitting into the same car and completely disappear.  
 

“Could they be less obvious about it…” Minwoo mumbled. “We are happy for them and all but if this gets on the internet our fans will go crazy.”

“They have been acting all weird for a while now, I’m sure the fans are already crazy…” Then Dongwan just smirked proud. “Well, it’s all thanks to me for setting up that blind date.”

Minwoo hit him on the side, “It was not entirely your idea, Hyesung asked you to do it.

“Whatever.” Dongwan waved. “He only wanted a blind date but the idea of setting him up with Eric is entirely mine.”

“Either way it was a nice move.” Minwoo patted Dongwan’s shoulder. “I’m proud you can be cunning.”

“I’m not sure if I should take this as compliment or insult.” Dongwan grumbled displeased then continued, “Anyway I’m quite surprised Hyesung was the one who confessed.”

“Well even like this” Minwoo shrugged. “at least in the end it all ended well. Not thanks to Eric though.” Minwoo just rolled his eyes, “With Hyesung’s confession I guess our little prince finally had enough of avoiding our leader and suffering inside and basically turning the whole problem into an even bigger one… “ He let out a displeased sigh. “And here I’ve thought Eric would finally do something out of jealousy after I took the pain and I kissed Pilgyo to make him jealous. I’ve thought he would finally move his lazy ass…”

“Jin said, though, he actually scolded Hyesung…” Dongwan said then started to mimic Junjin. “’Hyung, stop this idiotic play of yours and stand on your feet, seeing you two being like this is seriously tiring. Be a man.’ I guess in the end he listened to Choongjae.”

“Well, then in the end it was Jinnie triggering Hyesung…”

“Probably.”

“Well” Minwoo stretched his arms. “we should be happy, one less thing to worry about.”

“Yeah and another added: making sure to cover for the love-birds even more.” Dongwan said and he grimaced. “Ah, so tiring, could those two just give us a break…”

Minwoo sighed but then they looked at each other and both just laughed out loud,

“Can’t they be just less obvious about it… just a tiny bit…”  
 

They walked up to their cars and while sitting in with a sigh they both noted to themselves - actually all the members were perfectly aware of the fact - from now on they have to work even harder to keep up the safe line related to the delusion around RicSyung’s legend.  
 

Because what the fans thought was just fantasy…

… Now became Shinhwa’s reality.


	12. Extra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mature content

Eric was standing nervously before Hyesung’s door trying to grow some courage to ring the doorbell. However, he had been there for about ten minutes now and still, he was unable to even knock.

No wonder.

He had been invited over by Hyesung himself and in his tone there was something that made Eric think he might not go home that night. Who in their right mind wouldn’t be nervous?  
 

It’s been a month since Hyesung and Eric got together in that quite weird way. They could say it was all thanks to Kim Dongwan, however, they were both reluctant to actually state such things so in the end they never really expressed their gratefulness to him. Nay, they even scolded him for playing such a prank on them resulting Dongwan being quite offended but somehow Hyesung and Eric felt quite fulfilled.

Either way, it’s been a month since they started dating and even though they had their ups and downs – just like during their friendship – they pretty much got along well.

We will live, Eric always thought considering nothing much changed between them. They acted the same way and handled each other just the same again, the only difference were those small moments when their fingertips touched the others’ or when at a hidden place where no one saw them their feelings got control over them and they exchanged short kisses and warm hugs.

Besides this though, they continued their fights and arguing and their already familiar cat and mouth play. Even like this, they were just water and oil, though they managed to mix.  
 

However, one thing has been missing from this idyllic life: sex.  
 

Eric was pent up, he admitted it. It’s been a month since they started to date but they never went over kissing and Eric felt more and more impatient. If he wanted to talk his mind he would have said he just wanted to get into bed with Hyesung finally but how could he tell him this? He did not have a death wish…

And while he wanted to have Hyesung among his arms as soon as possible, at the same time he did not want to hurry anything, he wanted Hyesung to prepare himself properly and the same goes for Eric as well.  
 

This is why he was rather surprised when Hyesung invited him over for that night. Not only because it was Hyesung doing the inviting and not Eric inviting himself over to Hyesung’s place but because the way he sounded gave Eric mixed feelings regarding his intentions: he talked ambiguously and Eric definitely had no idea what to except.

Well he knew what he wanted but he was not really sure about Hyesung… With him, you can never know.  
 

In the end Eric figured he will just have to see what was going to happen but even before he could have knocked or rang the doorbell the door opened by itself and there was standing Hyesung wearing a rather surprised expression.  
 

“You’re here?” He asked, his eyes went wide, “Why didn’t you call me or something then…”

“Ah” Eric rubbed his nape embarrassed, “I just got here.”

“I see.” Hyesung mumbled, his cheeks burnt up for some weird reason, “I came out to see if you are coming or not…”

Hyesung stepped aside as he opened the door wider and pointed inside with his head to Eric, “Come in.”

Eric entered Hyesung’s home and automatically, as if it was perfectly natural and in a way it really was, went to the living room, threw himself onto the sofa and after Hyesung followed him he asked, “So why did you call me over?”

“Ah, that.” Hyesung sat onto the sofa as well and nervously playing with his fingers he said, “I got my hands on two movies… it’s said they are good so I wondered you could watch them with me.”  
 

He is nervous, Eric thought and his heart skipped a beat for a moment. Just why would he be nervous if it really was only about watching movies?

It certainly was a date in Hyesung’s mind and that’s why he was nervous, Eric came to the conclusion. He was nervous because it’s Eric who pushed his way towards Hyesung and made him do this and that and Hyesung went with the flow. True, Eric had to admit Hyesung certainly tried his best before they got together… even if Eric did not notice anything from that hard work. But now it was mainly Eric starting things and he guessed he must have been uncomfortable suddenly inviting him over out of the blue.  
 

“Sure” He nodded in the end, luring out Hyesung’s sweet smile, “let’s watch it then. But” He suddenly remembered that certain hallucination of his concerning the cinema and a certain genre, “I hope it’s a not horror movie.”

“No way.” Hyesung grumbled, stood up and walked towards the kitchen, “It’s some action movie or what.” He disappeared and returned with a bowl of popcorn, still steaming, “I’ve heard it’s good.”  
 

Eric reached towards the popcorn, took some and stuffed it into his mouth, “Jung Pilgyo you prepared well~”  
 

Hyesung did not say anything but instead launched the movie but even like this Eric could see his cheeks burning up and he felt a weird fulfilment dwelling up in his chest. In the end he figured he had a weird fetish of loving making those cheeks put on that quite arousing red colour.

Nothing can be done about it, he thought, Hyesung is cute this way.  
 

However, about ten minutes into the movie Eric turned frustrated. And the reason of his frustration was no one else but Hyesung and his strictly kept meter distance on the sofa. He just slid to the side of it and stayed there ever since he sat back after launching the movie and this annoyed Eric quite much.

Why would he keep such a distance? Weren’t they a couple or something…  
 

Annoyance grew into stubbornness in Eric resulting him to slid closer while he put his legs on the sofa and leant onto Hyesung’s shoulder.

He felt it as Hyesung’s body stiffened and his breathing became quicker and Eric had a hard time holding back a satisfied smile. He certainly was satisfied.  
 

“This is uncomfortable.” Hyesung grumbled not tearing his gaze away from the screen.

“It’s pretty much comfortable for me.” Eric replied and pushed himself even closer. “You should treat your guest well~”  
 

After another ten minutes and being this close to Hyesung Eric felt it the very first time… A nice scent had reached his nose, shower gel scent that he was sure Hyesung usually used, he had a fresh scent as if he…  
 

“Jung Pilgyo, did you take a shower before I came over?”

“What?” From the corner of his eyes Eric saw Hyesung’s face blushing in embarrassment, “Why would I… Why do you think…”

“Because you have a nice scent.” Eric sat up, slid closer and leant to Hyesung’s neck to take a deep breath causing the singer having goosebumps all over. That’s right, Eric thought, he must have taken a shower, the ends of his hair was still wet a bit… “You smell like your shower gel as if you’ve just had a shower…”

“I didn’t…” Hyesung denied but Eric took another deep breath while he wrapped his arm around Hyesung’s stomach. The singer trembled slightly as the tip of Eric’s nose brushed his skin. “Stop it…”

“You pretty damn well took a shower!” Eric grumbled suddenly irritated as he bit into Hyesung’s neck, resulting him letting a out a surprised moan. To think that Hyesung actually had some expectations from tonight and he acted all innocent as if there was nothing on his mind… Eric was frustrated.

“Stop it will you…” Hyesung muttered on a weak tone but his superficial attempt of pushing Eric away was just oil on the fire – it did not really give the feeling Hyesung really wanted Eric to stop and so, a moment later he was already lying on the sofa with widened eyes staring at Eric whom was above him, having a feverish expression.

“Do you really want me to stop?” Eric asked on a low, purring voice sending shivers down on Hyesung’s spine as he licked the place where he previously bit him while his hand slid under his T-shirt, gently caressing his skin with his fingertips.

“Ye..yes.” Hyesung stuttered as he breathed quicker by Eric’s touch sliding to his chest from his stomach while his lips were wandering around his neck and collarbone.

Eric slightly pulled away and looked right into Hyesung’s eyes, “But I want you.” Hyesung’s eyes widened and his face flushed, “Can’t I have you?”  
 

Hyesung did not say anything but lowered his eyes embarrassed. He then struggled until he could get out of under Eric, walked to the TV and turned it off. Then stepped to Eric who sat up in confusion, took his hand and pulled him up from the sofa and without a word or glance he pulled him after himself… to the bedroom.  
 

Then Hyesung just stopped, turned to Eric and holding both his hands he was gazing into Eric’s eyes as if he was telling him he can do whatever he wants without words.

Eric’s throat went dry, suddenly it was hard for him to breath as he stepped closer to Hyesung, pulled him among his arms and pushed his lips against his as if he hadn’t kissed him for years now and he was thirsting his lips like a drop of water in the desert.

In a way, it was true. He thirsted those them he felt like going crazy but not only his lips anymore but his skin and flesh and everything he had. He wanted to swallow Hyesung in whole, he wanted to make him fully his, he wanted to melt together with him.  
 

Eric then pulled back slightly, cupping Hyesung’s face and whispered, “Do you really want this?”  
 

However, instead of a reply Hyesung only lowered his eyes then as if he came to a sudden decision he looked back up to Eric and slowly pulling closer while closing his eyes he gently pecked Eric’s mouth.  
 

It was more than enough for Eric to grab Hyesung and just push him onto the bed, climb onto him and getting rid of his shirt ‘attack’ his collarbone which’s taste he had been wanting to taste for quite a while now.

Hyesung let out a low moan and sighed satisfied as Eric touched his nipple while still showering his collarbone with kisses. He gently rubbed it then took it in between his fingers and massaged them, sending down an electric shock-like feeling on Hyesung’s spine.  
 

“Ah!” Hyesung cried out from the sudden came pleasure wave from being played with his nipples and continued moaning loudly as Eric’s lips slid to his nipple and licking it he sucked on it still massaging the other one.  
 

Hyesung panted, he pulled up his knees and wrapped his legs around his waist and pushed himself against Eric making him feel his erection.  
 

Eric suddenly stopped.

For a moment he just stared at Hyesung with widened eyes, it was hard for him to breath. A familiar feeling had struck into his heart which he was carrying for a long time. However, one month ago it suddenly stopped and Eric grew relaxed. He thought now that him and Hyesung were together he did not need to be scared anymore… but he suddenly got scared.  
 

Was this real?  
 

He did not dare to answer  _yes_ , he did not dare to believe everything that had been happening was truthfully reality because if Eric wanted to be honest, he was not sure if his mind wasn’t playing a prank on him again.

He grew anxious and scared and those painful feelings from a month ago had appeared in his heart once again.  
 

“Eric?”  
 

Hyesung’s voice threw him off, he looked worried and for a moment shame had appeared on his face as he sat up and reached for his T-shirt to put it in front of himself, to cover himself.  
 

Hyesung was misunderstanding him, Eric was sure about this and he felt bad. He did not want Hyesung to have unnecessary thoughts, he did not want to put him through such things and he could slap himself for being like this right in front of him…  
 

“If you don’t want to then…” Hyesung tried to get off of the bed but Eric grabbed him and pulled him back, “What are you doing?!”

“Pilgyo… Is this reality?” Eric asked on a tortured tone, “Can you pinch me?”

“What?!”

“Just pinch me!”  
 

Hyesung only stared at him weirdly then he let out an annoyed sigh, pinched Eric’s arm with all his might causing him to cry out in pain but it was not enough because on top of this Hyesung hit the top of his head with his knuckles. This one, Eric was sure, was out of revenge.

However, his previous panic started to elapse as he looked around and he was still there with Hyesung in the room, Hyesung topless, staring at him questioning and as he looked down he saw how they both were in the condition of excitement.  
 

It’s reality.  
 

His rapid heartbeat started to calm down but a moment later it quickened again as it actually hit him: it’s reality!

Hyesung was there in front of him, almost naked and he wanted Eric just as much as Eric had always wanted him, to have him, to make him his…

It was something he only dared to dream of till now and to think his fantasies from before were actually coming true… it was an overwhelming feeling and he could not help but push Hyesung down on the bed, burying him under himself and hug him tightly.  
 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Hyesung grumbled annoyed but Eric did not need to look at him to knew his cheeks were flushed.

“Nothing, Hyesung.” He mumbled, “Nothing at all. Everything is fine… everything is alright…”

“You are weird!”  
 

He only chuckled then turned his head to be able to face Hyesung, he only stared into his questioning eyes and he felt an incredible happiness flooding his heart. He leant closer so he could peck Hyesung’s lips, only having him grumble:  
 

“I’m not in the mood anymore, go away.”

“No way.” Eric laughed, “I want you also,” He reached down and grabbed Hyesung’s still-hard manhood, “you seem pretty much in the mood for me.”

“You are such a pervert…” Hyesung wanted to hit his head but Eric grabbed his hand, pulled it to his mouth and kissed it. “Stop it.”

“I don’t think you want me to…” Eric grinned, leant to him again and kissed him but this time longer, pushing his tongue to Hyesung’s.

“Mhmm…” Hyesung moaned into his mouth as he wrapped his arms around Eric’s neck and let him position himself between his legs.  
 

Eric felt as the heat between them rose again as they got rid of their clothes, feeling the other’s skin on theirs.

Eric reached down to Hyesung’s erection, gently grasped his fingers around it… it was hot and as Eric moved his hand a bit it twitched madly.  
 

“Ahnn…hnn…” Hyesung moaned biting his lip, his hip moved against Eric’s fist.  
 

Eric leant to him and kissed his cheek as he let go of his cock and slid his hand down. Hyesung pulled up his knees more, letting Eric slid his fingers to his entrance.

Eric knew what to do, he has been doing research about these kinds of things ever since he first thought about desiring Hyesung this way. He read and saw so many things it felt like it was not his first time with a man, also, he fantasised about Hyesung so many times all the places he touched felt familiar.  
 

“Hyesung…” He panted into his ear, “Lube…”  
 

Eric saw as his already flushed cheeks became redder as he turned around and reached to his bedside table but when he wanted to turn back to Eric and hand the tube over to him, he did not let him.

Instead, he climbed onto him and kissed his nape, slid his lips down in his spine then kissed his shoulder while he reached out to his hand and took the lube from Hyesung.

Still holding him down he poured some lube to his entrance and still licking and biting his nape and shoulder he entered him with one finger.  
 

“Ngh…”

Eric immediately stopped and asked, “Are you alright?”

Hyesung nodded then on a weak tone he said, “… be gentle.”  
 

Eric’s heart skipped a beat hearing Hyesung’s words and he moved his finger again, carefully, making sure he did not cause pain to him but pleasure. He soon replaced his finger with two and he couldn’t not notice Hyesung’s whole body stiffen then move a bit against Eric’s fingers while letting out a low moan.  
 

Eric leant to his ear and while kissing it he asked, “How is it?”

Hyesung did not answer for a while but only sighed then he muttered, “I don’t know… AH!” He moaned as Eric touched a point, he trembled, “It’s weird…” Eric felt as he was throbbing inside and was sucking in his fingers, “Just… ah… so weird… your fingers… feels weirdly good…”  
 

Hearing Hyesung speaking this way caused not only Eric to blush but at the same time he felt his cock twitching from the painful desire. He wanted to enter Hyesung so much…  
 

“Can I” He swallowed, “put it in?”  
 

Hyesung stiffened once again, the silence was heavy, only the squishing sound could be heard as Eric pulled out his fingers. Then a moment later Hyesung nodded and that moment for Eric's eyes he looked so loveable he made Eric's heart ache.  
 

“You are going to make me have a heart attack…” Eric grunted against his ear as he positioned his dick to Hyesung’s butt and slowly entered him.

“Ahkk…” Hyesung whimpered, “It hurts… slow down…” Then he added grumbling, “Why are you so f*cking big… I’m going to tear…”  
 

Eric stopped and for a moment he only stared at the back of Hyesung’s head shocked then laughter broke out of him.  
 

“What?!”

“Nothing, it’s just” He took a deep breath to calm down, “this was so like you… Jung Pilgyo-ish…”  
 

Unlike in his head, instead of cute and shy Shin Hyesung… before him there was Jung Pilgyo in live, talking vulgar.

It felt weird but somehow he loved the real version more.  
 

“Shut up.” He grumbled, “Just hurry…”  
 

Hyesung did not need to tell him twice, he slowly continued pushing his way inside till he was fully in him. The unbearable hotness caused Eric to pant, he had to work hard to hold himself back…  
 

“Are you alright?” He sighed against Hyesung’s ear causing him having goosebumps all over his body.

“It hurts… a bit…” Hyesung mumbled, “But it feels weird… the way you fill me up…” He moaned, “It feels so good I feel like going crazy…”

Eric swallowed, he felt like a wild beast was freed inside him. He let out a sigh and on a low tone he muttered, “I’m going to move, Pilgyo.”  
 

He slowly pulled back almost only leaving the tip inside Hyesung then he pushed back again until he could. Hyesung let out a loud shriek but Eric knew it well it was not due to pain but to pleasure. He hit his sweet spot.

He pulled back again then pushed inside and continued doing so. He closed his eyes as he leant onto Hyesung, wrapped his arms around him and quickened his thrusts.  
 

“Ahh… nghh… uhh…” Hyesung could not hold back his moans anymore, his cries filled the room and hearing him this way excited Eric more, his moves turned faster.

Eric panted as he pumped into him wildly, his lips pushed against his skin kissing it wildly while he slid one of his hands down to Hyesung’s manhood and grabbing it he moved his hand on it causing Hyesung talk in a shaky voice, “I can’t… I’m going to…”

Eric let go of him and panted, “Hyesung, turn around.”  
 

Grabbing his legs he helped him turn, never pulling it out of him and leaning towards him to be able to kiss him he continued rocking into him, holding him tightly among his arms.  
 

Hyesung broke the kiss trying to catch his breath, he moaned, “Eric, I can’t… no more… I’m going to come… ahnn…”

“Let’s… come together…” Eric groaned, “Pilgyo…”  
 

He leant his head onto Hyesung’s shoulder whom wrapped his arms around his neck and as their movements synchronized they both climaxed, having their melt together voices fill the room…

 

 

Hyesung fell asleep not long after they took a shower together. Eric somehow was unable to sleep even though he was fairly tired.

He could not get his eyes off of Hyesung. His sleeping face enchanted him, he watched his chest lift and sink as he was breathing peacefully, sometimes mumbling slightly annoyed which was definitely related to Eric - he heard his own name quite clearly a few times.  
 

Eric was watching Hyesung smiling, a pleasant happiness moved into his heart as he thought over those months he spent suffering from his secret love and weird fantasies of his that were many times so realistic he wished he could live in dreamland forever.  
 

However, since he got together with Hyesung his way of thinking took a180 degrees turn.

And now that he was lying next to him and was watching the man’s sleeping face, as he reached out to him and gently brushed his cheek with the tip of his fingers he noted to himself it’s definitely not bad he changed his mind related to the matter and he thought:  
 

Reality was truly beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for following this series, I hope the audience of ao3 liked it as well :)  
> From now on I'll try to upload my works here, too, but 'my main page' will remain AFF :)
> 
> (originally published there: Aug 5, 2014  
> date of completion: Oct 18, 2015)


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